Daedalus's Inventions
Daedalus:
What was your best invention?
The Labyrinthine walls hiding
Your king's wicked rites?
The rocket-boosted wings which, riding,
Made your son a sky-high Challenger?
Or the hollow heifer
made so Pasiphaë'd be
slut-fucked^1 while her
bull-cucked man
plucked girl-cunts
with his rot-cock?^2
That pollution the least?
Your queen's bull-torn gash
and the biform twisted babe
slid out?
Explanatory Notes:
- Pasiphaë, the wife of Minos, was said to have been cursed by Poseidon to lust achingly for a white bull. To ease her sexual pains, Daedalus constructed a wooden heifer with which Pasiphaë could conceal her form and present herself to the bull.
- Some say that Pasiphaë cursed her adulterous husband Minos to ejaculate poisonous serpents and insects when he was being unfaithful to her.
Posted Apr 29, 2017, 1:19 AM UTC
43
Not really my style, but I understand where you're going with this piece (I think). It'd be interesting to see it rewritten as a prose interview/back-and-forth. As far as what's here goes, I think the last stanza is largely unnecessary given the 'hollow heifer' stanza, and more direct modern reference after Challenger could be included, but that's about as far as I'd go. This piece, for me, is far more understandable and less vague than the last I commented on (by you), but it seems to toe the line at the other extreme - between prose with line breaks and poetry.
Once again, I agree. This is again a brief study of mythological characters and subjects, with a bit of a frustrated attempt at being as disgusting and offensive as possible mixed in. I think my final stanza was there almost just to put in another disgusting phrase I wanted to include, and I can see why you said that it's unnecessary.
I would like to rework this into blank verse or possibly even some kind of quatrains or something. I like more of the content here than the last one, for sure. But it's still extremely rough, as you said for Ariadne.
With the disgusting/offensive aspect, the question is of purpose - does it serve the poem or the author? Maybe there's a relation between Pasiphae and Sigyn that could be explored, or Minos and Idun, or something like that. Find a way to go more than one-tone with the piece, and you'd be off to a good start.