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I like the message of this poem, I also like some of the choice of words. Maybe the rhythm could be mastered in some areas, but in some areas it's strong. You could also throw in some rhymes if they add to the meaning of your poem, you don't want to force rhymes.

Really like the message and rhythm of the poem, especially like the effect of the last line but was unsure about the rhythm due to the break after 'under'.