Source
r/sexover30•
SecretCockslut

Period Sex UPDATE

Story/Report

So this is a massive public thank you to u/myexsparamour and u/TantraGirl. You have lifted the curse of the last 8 years of my life!

For those of you who find your partners don't want you during your period, or feel uncomfortable themselves, then Natural Sea Sponges are the way to go! Just find the right size for you, pop it in, and your partner will never know!!!!!!

I had amazing sex all night and the next morning and it was as if I didn't have my period at all. Incredible.

Don't be squeamish. They are easy to use, easy to remove and easy to clean. Now I can have sex whenever I want.

Thank you to all who commented on the previous thread :-)

Posted May 26, 2017, 1:59 PM UTC

5264
bootcamer•

Where do u pop it exactly? Need more explication

11
SecretCockslutOP•

Insert like a tampon and push up to your cervix. I found that once it was in far enough, it found its place. I couldn't feel it and neither could he.

3
Pokimos•

Is it easy to take all the part later?

3
TantraGirl♀ mid-30s, married, brand new mama! 💕•

I had trouble retrieving the first one I used, probably because I pushed it in too far, so I used a trick I learned in my pompoir heyday for extracting vaginal eggs:

Stand with your feet apart and your hands on a bureau or counter. Lean forward at the hips, not at the waist. You want your vagina as nearly vertical as possible. Try to relax your pelvic muscles. Do a reverse kegel or two if you know how.

Then lift up on your toes and come down on your heels with a jolt, with your legs straight and your knees locked.

Because the sponge is heavy with fluid, doing that a few times should drop it to just above the vaginal entrance. You can then do a squat or sit on the john and use your fingers to retrieve it easily.

12
sexwitch420•

I've used this technique with great success. I've also gotten into a very low squat and pushed - use the pelvic floor and just bear down (be alone in the bathroom - I've ripped a few loud farts doing this hahahaha and would be totally embarrassed if my bf heard!). While you're pushing just reach up with a finger, you can hook it and grab it out.

13
VoyeurOfBliss♂ 30+•

Ah the visuals today. Good thing the wild sketch guy doesn't visit...

5
SecretCockslutOP•

Apparently you can sew some cotton thread or dental floss into it to help with removal, but I had no problem just having a good old firtle around and just pulling it out with my fingers. But then I have had two large babies....;-)

4
minarets420•

OK... what if your partner is long enough to always hit your cervix or even penetrate it for that matter (yes some girls like that). Like, can't you get it pushed further than you can retrieve it?

2
sexwitch420•

The cervix will stop it from going past the point of no return - luckily things can't get too far in the vagina versus other possible orifices. If it's further than your fingers can reach, simply walk around for a couple minutes with underwear on and every few seconds just push/bear down. You'll be able to lower it to a comfortable grabbing distance.

7
seefatchai•

How do you penetrate a cervix?

3
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

You don't. He's talking about going past the cervix, into the anterior or posterior fornix.

6
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

OK... what if your partner is long enough to always hit your cervix or even penetrate it for that matter

Okay, first of all you can't penetrate the cervix. Ouch. The cervix has a tiny pinhole and no penis is going in there. However, you can go past the cervix either to the front or back.

Doesn't matter. My partner routinely penetrates past my cervix, and the sponge doesn't cause any problems at all. Also, he has never felt it, not with his penis or his fingers, and he fingers me a LOT.

The sponges are very soft and feel similar to vaginal tissue.

3
TantraGirl♀ mid-30s, married, brand new mama! 💕•

Yes you can, particularly if you have a longish vagina, but see my answer to Pokimos.

2
SecretCockslutOP•

Apparently some people tie cotton or dental floss to aid retrieval :-)

1
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

Yay!!! It worked for you too!

I love sea sponges. They have been a life saver for me, because I only get to see my workaholic lover about once a week, and I crave him every day. If I had to turn him down during period week, I'd lose my fucking mind.

8
SecretCockslutOP•

Ah I know that feeling :-o thats why you've saved my life. Thank you so much xxxxxx

3
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

This makes me soooo happy!

2
Bruce--•

You need to have sex that much that you can't wait a week?

-2†
jewelrider♀ 30s•

It's not that uncommon. Not sure what the tone of this was supposed to be but your comment sounds pretty rude and judgmental.

If that's not your intention, it isn't that crazy. Two people in a relationship w/ a high libido and they're gonna fuck all the time. My SO and I are 1-2 times a day people or else we go crazy.

8
Bruce--•

If that's not your intention

Not my intention, though I don't really mind if my tone cast that behaviour in a troubling light. I consider it troubling.

Not sure why it's rude. I don't know how I can ask it any other way without adding extra (unnecessary) words. I like brevity.

The way I see that conversation going is that they answer "Yes / no, I was exaggerating," and if they say yes, I ask "why?" (Which is exactly how it went.)

If that's not your intention, it isn't that crazy. Two people in a relationship w/ a high libido and they're gonna fuck all the time.

Sure.

My SO and I are 1-2 times a day people or else we go crazy.

But doesn't that strike you as concerning? Not the having sex part. That's fine. But the need to have it.

Like, what do you actually mean by "go crazy"?

I don't want to derail the thread too much (though I guess it's kind of relevant), but so far three people have said this about not having sex regularly:

  • "If I had to turn him down during period week, I'd lose my fucking mind."
  • "My SO and I are 1-2 times a day people or else we go crazy."
  • "Going without for just one week is enough to drive me crazy."

Perhaps you're exaggerating. If not, I consider that pretty concerning. As I said in another comment, I'd say the same if people said they couldn't go a week or two without their smartphone, or the internet, or using their car, seeing their romantic partner, meditating, drinking soft drink, eating ice cream, playing video games, or whatever.

Given that this is "sexover30," I'd hope that people who are 30+ have more self-mastery than that.

Maybe that's a judgemental thing to say. I think it's a reasonable thing to say, and an okay standard to have.

0
jewelrider♀ 30s•

Concerning? To you maybe. To us? Nope. Not one bit. We are extremely happy with our fulfilling sex life.

Most of the long term relationships I've been in have been the same way. It's all pretty normal to me.

5
SecretCockslutOP•

You're a troll. Take your judgemental and outdated attitudes somewhere else. Goodbye

3
ShaktiAmaranthaMOD♀ 53 tantric sex evangelist•

I think TantraGirl may have a point. You sound a lot like some other aspies/autists I've known. If so, you have my sympathy. Interpreting normal conversation is never easy for people on the spectrum.

HOWEVER, that doesn't give you a free pass to be rude to people and start flamewars.

You're protesting your innocence and saying you didn't mean to be rude. Okay, fine. We absolve you of malicious intent. But the reactions you received are conclusive evidence that you WERE being rude, and the rational response to that is to apologize and STOP BEING RUDE. Instead you have kept doubling down.

So now I'm officially warning you to stop it. If you continue, we will ban you from the sub.

If you have a problem with that, address it to the mods privately, do NOT argue about it here. Arguing with the mods in public can also get you banned.

3
TantraGirl♀ mid-30s, married, brand new mama! 💕•

You know, the way that's phrased is awfully close to slut shaming (which is, btw, against the rules of this sub, so I wouldn't be surprised if you get downvoted or reported).

Even if that's not what you meant, why are you surprised that some people get really horny after a week without sex? Going without for just one week is enough to drive me crazy.

MyEx actually said that if she didn't have period sex she would have to be celibate for TWO whole weeks. And I'm pretty damned sure that a large majority of the people on SO30 would regard that as a hardship.

7
UnexpectedlyFilthy♀ 38 ⚭•

Or it could be that he doesn't get laid a lot. It's sometimes difficult for some of us who don't get laid often to remember that there are people who get it often enough that a week without would be a hardship.

4
Bruce--•

You know, the way that's phrased is awfully close to slut shaming

I think it's more accurate to say that was your interpretation of it. Seems you're projecting your own stuff onto an otherwise neutral statement made to a human, that (syntactically) has no focus on gender.

I guess it could be considered judgemental, but it was more so based on surprise. I'm genuinely surprised and kind of concerned if that was a serious comment, hence the question to clarify. I wonder if they were just exaggerating, or if it's serious. Asking questions is okay.

Even if that's not what you meant, why are you surprised that some people get really horny after a week without sex? Going without for just one week is enough to drive me crazy.

MyEx actually said that if she didn't have period sex she would have to be celibate for TWO whole weeks. And I'm pretty damned sure that a large majority of the people on SO30 would regard that as a hardship.

If you must know, I like to understand people, and if that truly is the state of some people, and that's considered normal, I find that pretty concerning. It sounds more like an addiction rather than healthy behaviour.

I'm not trying to shame anyone in saying that. Sex is fine, and people can do what they want. But I'd say the same if people said they couldn't go a week or two without their smartphone, or the internet, or using their car, seeing their romantic partner, meditating, drinking soft drink, eating ice cream, playing video games, or whatever.

I like all of those things, but I don't cease to function without one or all of them.

It also concerns me that you consider that "hardship." I mean, all things are relative, but personally speaking, I would hope I'm more resilient than that and have had enough life experience to know the difference between actual hardship (survival needs being threatened or missing), and no sex (which Maslow considers a survival need, but I kind of disagree with him) for a couple of weeks.

Sex = great. Addictions, and lack of resilience = not so great.

Note: those are general statements; I'm not accusing you of having an addiction or lacking resilience (I don't even know you).

-1
TantraGirl♀ mid-30s, married, brand new mama! 💕•

It came across as highly judgmental -- and not in a good way.

In the same spirit of inquiry, I'd like to ask you a question before commenting further: are you "on the spectrum"?

Because, as someone who is on the spectrum (Aspie), and has had to learn the hard way not to take NT language too literally, this discussion sounds awfully familiar. You are taking terms like "enough to drive me crazy" FAR too literally.

What both MyEx and I are saying is that we would both strongly object to missing an opportunity for good sex with our men for a trivial reason, especially if missing it meant a prolonged drought.

What's a good reason? I just had a baby in April. We went a month without sex of any kind and two months without PIV. Sure, we missed it, especially my husband, but it didn't do either of us any harm.

Conflating high libido or a strong attraction to a partner with addiction trivializes addiction, a deadly serious problem for many people.

7
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

If you must know, I like to understand people, and if that truly is the state of some people, and that's considered normal, I find that pretty concerning. It sounds more like an addiction rather than healthy behaviour.

Dude, I hate to say it but you have issues. Are you always this rigid in your thinking, or just around sex?

3
Bruce--•

By the way, thanks for not downvoting my comment. (At least, I assume you didn't.)

-1
[deleted]•

[removed]

2
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

Affirmative.

5
Bruce--•

What happens if you don't have sex for a week? Genuinely curious.

0
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

What happens if you don't have sex for a week?

Well, I miss my guy really badly if I have to go more than a week without seeing him. It's like an empty, squeezing feeling in my chest and sadness and loneliness.

2
SecretCockslutOP•

Often I have to wait....but that's another story and another username..... Abd it drives me insane. I think thats perfectly normal :-)

2
TantraGirl♀ mid-30s, married, brand new mama! 💕•

Lol! I felt the same way after MyEx told me the secret. She's the one who deserves the credit.

It hasn't has quite had the same impact on me, since I've only had three periods in the last 11 years, and my guy isn't squeamish about blood. Still, it was VERY nice to avoid the unnecessary mess!

7
SecretCockslutOP•

Thank you anyway. Its been such an obstacle for me, especially recently with two - week long epics, that I am almost crying with joy 😂

4
neuenono•

Here's the previous discussion for those curious:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/6cdjf9/soperiod_sex_who_likes_it/dhu9hht/

5
theprissypixel♀ 46 ⚭•

Is this an actual brand name, or will any natural sea sponge work (wasn't sure due to the capitalization). Also, do you dampen it first before popping it in? Seems like they'd be kind of hard or scratchy when they're dry unless I'm thinking about something vastly different.

3
sexwitch420•

Jade and Pearl brand are marketed specifically as sea sponge tampons but the ones for cosmetics as OP describes are literally the exact same thing for half the price. When mine arrive, I sterilize them overnight by soaking them in a bowl of white vinegar. I rinse them, wring them out, and let them dry completely then I put them in a bag to store. Do this same routine after you use them to keep them very clean.

Dampen and wring them out before inserting, dry would be way too scratchy!!!

7
SecretCockslutOP•

No not a brand name. I have bought some that are designed to be make-up sponges. They are different sizes, so you can pick one to suit you, or trim them if necessary. There are also some sold specifically as sanitary sponges but they're exactly the same.

Constantia Beauty 12 Pack Natural Sea Silk Sponges 1.5"-3" Sizes for Cosmetic Use https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GGT6G24/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_MA5YDnOZh5G85

3
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

You wet them under the tap, and then squeeze out as much water as possible. Squish the sponge up tiny, and insert high in the vagina, but below the cervix. Wash up on the outside, and voila! Clean as anything.

2
MrsRossGeller•

Ok! I ordered some. What about heavy days, though?

3
myexsparamour♀51 dom me at your peril•

On heavy days I need to remove and rinse the sponge about every 2-4 hours. On light days, it would be fine for 8 hours.

4
SecretCockslutOP•

So glad you're back to dispense your wisdom :-)

3
SecretCockslutOP•

I don't know. I am on medication that makes mine very heavy for about 5 days. It may be that they won't cope then, as tampons and sanitary towels don't. But I can live with that as at the moment my periods have been lasting two weeks :-)

3
contradictionchild♀ 33 Sexy Sherpa•

I know my sea sponges couldn't keep up with me this week, but my period was much heavier than usual. And I usually do tampons overnight: I'm just too afraid of a leak. :)

a 2" sponge will last ~4 hours for me on a light day, and 2 on a medium day. I'm told some women can double up and use two sponges on the heavy days, but when I tried that I leaked: maybe I just need to try repositioning?

tagging u/SecretCockSlut (love the user name! :) I wish I could use it, but I can't keep that a secret! Love it too much to be quiet about it. ;) )

3
SecretCockslutOP•

I 'm really new to these things, I just know I fucked half the night and the next morning and neither of us could tell it was there. I did have to use a bigger sponge; the two inch one moved away frim my cervix and I got a little bit of leakage.

Haha its not a total secret ;-)

3
contradictionchild♀ 33 Sexy Sherpa•

Lol! ;)

And like you, I should have used a bigger one the first time we had sex with it in! It was the end of my period, so really light, and Mr. D wanted slow and deep "grindy" sex. Well, he accidently wound up pushing it up on top of my cervix! Odds are, this is something you'll never have to worry about: I have an extremely antiverted uterus: my cervix is at almost a 90° angle to my vagina! So follow your instincts and go for the bigger sponge. He won't notice. :)

5