In need of advice or a voice that'll listen

Hi everyone! This is my very first post on Reddit. I've been going through a really rough time the last few months and feel like I've had no where else to turn. After using Reddit for a very long time, I realized it would be my best bet to get advice from this amazing community. Apologies for the length of this post in advance.

A few months back, I went through what almost every other gay guy goes through at some point in their life: come to the realization of who you like and that you can't change that. This was all due in part to a guy (let's call him Jim) who I found out about via social media and really wanted to meet him. So I am a college student and Jim also goes to my school but we are in different subjects and I'm an undergrad while he's a graduate student. Even though it's now the summer, we are both still here in the same place.

I had never had such an intense feeling before to want to meet someone. Keep in mind, I have never done anything before or have tried to meet another guy in my life so this was very scary yet exciting for me at the same time. In addition, at this point, I'm not very open about who I like so you can imagine just how scared I was.

To make a long story short, it took me about a month and a half to finally make contact with him. I went beyond what most people would have tried to meet this guy because I truly thought he was special based off what I saw on his social medias (Yes, I'm a horrible stalker on there). He eventually got my number through a mutual friend and he ended up texting me. I had never been so excited before in my entire life. There was obvious flirting and a seemingly intense desire for both of us to meet while we texted for a week and talked on the phone.

This is where the problem comes into play. The mutual friend told me after they gave Jim my number that Jim was talking with some guy but that Jim thought it was ending. Jim said that he'd be happy to meet me as a friend but that he didn't want to be shady and talk to anyone else. Well when Jim had first texted me, I was under the impression that he had broken ties with that other guy just based off how he texted me.

Eventually we did meet up and it went okay but it clearly wasn't a date. I also ended up hanging out with him again two other times after that but the length of each was negligible. I know where my feelings lie but I couldn't get a good impression as to what his were. After a month of us texting, I eventually talked to him and had the conversation about what my feelings were and wanted to know what was happening. He basically told me something along the lines of that he needs time to get over whatever he was going through (I imagine the guy he was last talking to).

I told him that I would respect his needed time but that I would be here when he's ready to give me a chance because I thought that he was worth it. At the end of the conversation, he left me with the impression that there was hope and that we'll just see what the future brings but I don't know what to do. As much as I would want to remain friends with him, I can't get past my feelings. It's quite an unfortunate situation but it has really taken a toll on me and my mental health. At some point, I really want to be given the chance to take him on an actual date but I know I have to give him time. I keep wishing that if he truly was not interested in me, that he would be straightforward and not lead me on because it hurts me and keeps me wondering every day. We also haven't spoken since I had that conversation with him (about a week ago). I thought I'd let him be the one to reach out to me next.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that I'm not sure what my next move should be or where I should go from here. In a few months, we are planning on going on a trip somewhere for a weekend and I'm excited for that but it will drive me insane not knowing if we're just friends or something more. Like I said before, this is the first time in my life where I've gotten so much confidence to try and meet someone but after this, my confidence and drive seems completely shot. I know some would say you need to forget about him but you can see why I simply cannot do that. I'm looking for a serious long term relationship and I know this guy is too. I just wish I had something better than a wondering heart and a period of unknowing.

Any and all advice is welcome. I truly appreciate your ears.