For the first time ever

I called my husb "an ass." Twice.

I just don't do that and yet I did. I think I've had it up to 🔝(here) and I'm not even remotely sorry.

It's the big week of company in town (preparing, cleaning), my role as guest (I'm not feeling like a guest with everything I'm doing to get home prepped with cleaning/ menu planning, etc), and being around BM at several different events.

I needed DH and SKs to really pull their share of the prep work for 1. It's their son/ brother 2. I've got a back injury that I'm in PT for.

Last night DH tells me he's doing something this morning with the groom, his daughter has several things with a friend throughout the day (DH is transportation) and so I asked him "what happened to our priorities for today?"

He has a default defensive posture which came out immediately but he did want to assure me that his kids would do (etc jobs) their part- he just couldn't say when.

Mixed in this hotbed of contention is that my daughter usually sets aside plans when she knows her step-sibs are going to be around. She engages them with a variety of things and takes a load off DH who's not naturally very attentive nor a planner.

I mentioned that if he was facilitating his kids being elsewhere it would have been nice if he would have let us know. I mean - I could've planned something to do with her and just left him to figure the rest out.

He started to pick on her for her odd sleeping hours (this is true - she has insomnia and sleeps when she sleeps).

That's when I lost it.

We cannot have a heated conversation where he doesn't find a way to pick on her.

I need perspective. Is it wrong for me to think that he and his kids should be very involved in the preparations for this week?

I get that I'm OCD in the details when company is coming to stay... I want the deep cleaning not the this-will-pass kind of effort.

I also acknowledge that this week has my anxiety up the wazoo.

I also acknowledge that without my DD living here I doubt I would remain. I realized that she is my only constant and that this SM blended family sh** pile is more than I want. 😓