[/r/EmojiPasta] M&M🔴🍫 Duels🔫

Whenever I😋👈 get a package📦 of plain M&Ms🔴🍫, I make it my duty to continue the strength💪 and robustness of the candy🍬 as a species. To this end🔚, I hold M&M🔴🍫 duels🔫.Taking two✌ candies🍬🍫 between my thumb👍 and forefinger👆, I apply pressure, squeezing👍🔴👈 them together until one👆 of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser"😢, and I eat😮🍴 the inferior one immediately. The winner😎💪🏆 gets to go another round👉.I🙁👈 have found🔎😲 that, in general, the brown🏾 and red🔴 M&Ms🔴🍫 are tougher💪, and the newer🆕 blue ones🔵 are genetically inferior. I🙁👈 have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms🔵🍫 as a race cannot survive🙅🤕💀 long in the intense theater🎦 of competition🏆 that is the modern candy🍬 and snack-food🍫 world🌎.Occasionally I will get a mutation😵🤢, a candy🍬 that is misshapen, or pointier💠, or flatter🏾 than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness🤕, but on very rare occasions🤔 it gives the candy🍫 extra➕ strength💪. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment🌎.When I reach the end🔚 of the pack📦, I am left with one☝ M&M🔴, the strongest💪 of the herd. Since it would make no🙅 sense🤷 to eat😮🍴 this one☝ as well, I pack📦 it neatly in an envelope📨 and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.🌇, along with a 3x5 card📨 reading📖, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."This👇 week📅 they👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 wrote📝 back👈 to thank🙏 me😉👈, and sent me🙂👈 a coupon📋 for a free 1/2 pound bag👜 of plain M&Ms🔴🍫. I😁👈 consider this "grant money."💰💵 I have set aside the weekend📅 for a grand tournament🥇🥈🥉. From a field of hundreds💯, we👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 will discover🔎 the True Champion🏆.There can be only one ☝.