Yesterday my stepdad tried to make me order my own food at the drivethru and it made me so nervous that I told him I'd rather he just drive away and that I didn't need food.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't even handle ordering my own food. He ordered for me after that, and then gave me a speech about how if I can't even do that how will I be able to function in life at all?

That fucking crushed me. It took all the willpower I could muster not to cry right then. I know I can barely handle anything at the moment, I didn't need it rubbed in my face. On top of that I embarrassed myself in front of him and now I look pathetic.

I don't know what to do anymore. My mom has always said that people who take pills can't function without them. Meanwhile I'm not taking any pills and I can't function either. And she won't even entertain the idea of medicating me, no matter how much I try. I fucking hate all of this and I wish I was dead