It's only 10am and I want to die

I'm a shit mom because I'm a depressed piece of shit. My husband doesn't help much because he works and I chose to have her anyways, so she really is my responsibility. I've already fucked up her 2 1/2 years of life. She has a better chance in foster care.

Because I'm fucking stupid, I decided to get pregnant again. I said I would get better, but I never did. I promised her I would be a better mom, but I'm not. If I can save one kid a lifetime of misery, so be it.

We just moved into a new house and because I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant I can't move fast enough so my husband is mad. I wanted to move to a safer neighborhood and a bigger house but I didn't realize how hard moving would be. On top of that the 2 year old and I have bronchitis. I asked my husband to go to the doctor so we wouldn't get sick, but he was too busy. Every time I go up and down the stairs with a box or the 2 year old I break out into fits of coughing and vomiting which isn't helping the workflow. I already broke a rib and I'm just fucking myself up more.

I don't see the point in anything anymore. I can't take care of the one kid I have, and I have another one coming. There's no way my husband even cares about me anymore because I'm so lazy. He says he stopped cheating but I wouldn't be mad if he still was. I can't even blame him. I wouldn't want to be with me either.

I was going to check myself into behavioral health this morning, but there isn't a set plan for my 2 year old. My husband wouldn't take time off work for my stupid mistakes. Once I have a plan for both my kids I'll probably just go. I hope she doesn't remember the shitty life I've given her so far.