Why it is hard to be an honest man

The most interesting part about TheRedPill, in my opinion, is that everyone who isn't a subscriber seems to hate it. I'd like to discuss the cultural roots of this hate, and what it means for men.

The two most common criticisms I see towards TRP are misogyny and rape culture. In other words, redpillers hate women, and they perpetuate attitudes that contribute to rape. What's important to note, at this point, is that these are thought-based criticisms; they deal with the morality of one's thoughts, rather than their actions.

So, first let's look at the idea of "rape culture." Is rape culture real? This seems to be a debate between two possible realities- in one reality, rape victims are never believed, and people are quick to make judgments about a victim's clothing or behavior- victim blaming. In the other reality, there is an enormous stigma towards rape, and any woman has the power to make a false accusation with no evidence at all, leading to the complete destruction of a man's life.

We may not live in a rape culture, but we do live in a guilt culture. In any dispute between two people, one person is Right and the other is Wrong. What are the options when one is accused of something? To either plead guilty, or to shift the blame to someone else. People related to the accused are forced to either participate in blame-shifting or believe that their friend or family member is a monster, based on the word of a stranger. This is, I believe, the primary difference between TRP and society in general- moralizing is against the rules here. As a community, we do not label things as "right" and "wrong."

As we all know, the justice system does not prevent rape. People who want to rape usually do, and people who rape usually don't go to prison. So you can be against rape, as virtually everyone is, but there is no way to enforce this in reality.

Guilt is not about personal responsibility or punishing people for their actions. Guilt is about thought control. Instead of preventing rape, we try to prevent people from wanting to rape. We try to make people think that their desires are evil.

The problem with this is that there is nothing wrong with 'wanting to rape,' or having rape as a fetish. Lots of women have rape fantasies, too. Bernie Sanders used to write about it. If one wants to make their rape fantasy a reality... all they have to do is ask until someone says 'yes.' This has nothing to do with morality- it is actually easier to get what you want by asking for it, than to rape someone and then lie about it. But that said, who here feels comfortable asking a woman for something like that?

So the problem with rapists, as well as abusive people in general, is that they are fundamentally dishonest. They think that nobody will give them what they ask if they are honest, so they need to first win someone's trust, and then take what they want by force. This is enormously difficult, because it requires constant lying.

But BDSM is a thing. If you want to humiliate, give pain, or have power over someone, there are people who will let you do this willingly and enjoy it. The reverse applies as well. Men and women often feel embarrassed if they want to be submissive, with all the pressure society puts on them to be strong and independent.

Society encourages dishonesty- when men express desire for things like dominance and aggression, they are labeled as 'misogynists.' This does not make desire go away, it merely fosters hatred and suffering. When someone hates their own feelings, they hate themselves. A way to relieve this self-hate is to project it outwards, towards women and feminism, for example. So then we have actual misogynists, and the cycle continues. This is the same thing many so-called feminists do when they demonize men- they don't like their desires to be submissive, so they project outwards, towards the 'patriarchy.'

This does not point to genetic differences between the genders. Mothers are expected to dominate and control their children, so it is natural that they will desire to be submissive to men. This is the source of the redpill sayings, "women are children" and "men love women, women love children, children love puppies." Likewise, men are expected to be submissive to society (as soldiers, workers, gentlemen, providers), so it is natural they will want to dominate women. Dominance and submission are universal desires, everyone needs both in equal amounts. If a guy is constantly following orders at work, and he doesn't have the opportunity to be dominant over someone else, he will feel like a slave. Likewise, CEOs and other powerful men are most likely to seek dominant women- for once, what happens is not their responsibility. One solution to this problem is to give children equal power (as in pre-WW2 Japan- a culture based on shame rather than guilt) or to not have children (which is my preferred solution), the other is for one parent to dominate the children and be themselves dominated by their spouse.

At the extreme end of dishonesty, you have a narcissist or a sociopath, who has a charming outward "false self" based on what other people want, and a hidden, hated "true self" based on one's own desires, which are never openly expressed. Most men do this to some extent- they are sometimes honest and try to get what they want, but other times, they turn to pornography to indulge themselves in private. They are "nice guys" with dark fantasies.

It is extremely difficult to tell the difference between a skilled narcissist and an honest man. An honest man goes to the gym because he likes to feel powerful and masculine. A narcissist goes to the gym because he thinks women like men who are powerful and masculine. The narcissist may also want to feel powerful and masculine, but that's not his primary motivation. Women aren't stupid, you can't fool them forever- and if you do, you are with a fool who doesn't know the real you. If you focus on what you want out of life, you can and will find a woman who values those same things. No mind games necessary.

edit: "No mind games necessary." You can still play mind games if you want to. It's when you see them as a necessary evil rather than enjoyable that it becomes a problem.