[Diplomacy] Potential Allies

You may be surprised to hear from a dead caliphate but let us make it known to you that we are far from dead. We plan to destroy the infidels from the inside. We hope you also respect this wish. Allah has sent all of us to do his work and cure the infidels from their blasphemy. Unfortunately we have kept away from each other with western pigdogs getting between us. I, as the Caliph of the Islamic State, ask you all in an alliance that would help each other achieve our shared goal of seeing Allah's paradise on Earth.

• Taliban: your operations in Afghanistan have been most successful. After fooling the American pigs, you have made Afghanistan into a true Muslim paradise. With American pigs entering your land to destroy Allah's work, we hope this alliance will help you by retaining your hold on the land of Afghans. Your support in Pakistan has dropped and we want to ensure it rises. With a joint venture with us, we can make the people of Pakistan see the true path towards salvation.

• Al-Qaeda: ever since the loss of Osama Bin Laden (a true hero and providence from Allah), your organization no longer has its charm. We promise to give you a new pathway and forge a new way of destroying infidels. With your alliance, we can expand our operations and you can find the path that you had once lost.

• East Turkmenistan: As we already fund a major part of your movement, we ask that you officially become part of our Islamic caliphate. The Chinese pig-eaters are nothing more than atheist tyrants who deserve to live with their beloved animal in the mud. Together, we shall expand jihad and give you not only freedom, but also paradise.

• Boko Haram: Your work in the dark continent has impressed us much. We seek a formal alliance as your work in Nigeria will help Islam conquer the infidels in a highly Christian country. Your successes have been numerous but not big enough. Allow us to work together and expand our grip on the foolish western civilization.

• Hamas: your work in Palestine is no where near as good as it should be. The Jewish filth has kept Muslims out of our true land. With this alliance, your large population will enjoy the benefits of the caliphate (legally abusing women, infinite goats, plenty of kebabs) and we will have a formidable fighting force. Economically, Palestine exports many rare goods that the west cannot live without. We can use their greed to speed our growth. Alone, the Jewish filth will destroy you; together, we will wipe them off the planet.

• The Muslim Brotherhood: We know you must keep a peaceful face for the public. However, we both want the exact same thing- for infidels to pay and Islam to rise. Your power is the greatest with full control of Sudan, a majority in Palestine, a sizable minority in Tunisia, Mauritania, Egypt, Afghanistan, Indonesia, and Yemen. We will fund your growth in these countries to full control as long as we have an agreement to join as one Islamic powerhouse. When we join together, infidels will crawl and cry and Allah will smile upon us.

• Turkish Hezbollah: Turkey is ripe for the Islamist awakening. For over a decade you have been put underground by the disgusting secularists. However, join us allies and we shall continue our jihad in Turkey to ensure it is rightfully a part of Allah's wish. Erdogan has been a nasty fool who is not a true believer of Islam but rather a tyrannical dictator who uses our religion for evil ([M] kek). Join us, Sunni brothers, in our underground movement.

• Al-Jama'a Islamiyya: active in Croatia and Egypt, we can see great benefits of forming together. Your power and strength will increase if you pledge alliance to the Islamic caliphate. Operations will become more successful and your foothold in Europe will as well (the land of infidels).

• Harkat al-Muhajadeen: fighting the good fight in Kashmir, we can see that a joint movement will purify the Hindu infested country of India. We wish to see nothing less than the blood of Hindus flow through the hills of the Hindu Kush. With an alliance, we will push for the independence of Kashmir (not joining Pakistan) and help implement Sharia on land dominated by the false gods of Hindus.

• Gangs of Iraq: Your gangs are formidable yet do not have the vast amount of resources that we do. We offer that your gangs assimilate with ISIS as we will support your activities in exchange that we get a stable income from you (20% of all your profits). When the time to completely control your regions comes, we will be the first to give you the signal.

• Other Sunni Terror Organistaions: We look upon you all as brothers in this horrendous time. We offer a formal alliance where we can fund you to do your work as well as our numerous inventions at destroying the lives of infidels. If you join our caliphate, your leaders will become the leaders of your respective regions when the world becomes our rightful land. Let us unite under the name of Jihad for we cannot separately fight the infidels.

Economically, we all need help. We use oil revenue by trading with beloved Muslim countries such as Pakistan and with fools such as the USA and Europe through third party vendors. We all have a good grip at oil so let us form a single oil trading bloc that dominates the oil industry. This way the countries of the world will have to buy from us if they wish to survive. We ourselves should never become this dependent and resort to camels for travel unless cars are absolutely necessary.

We call upon all other Jihad organizations if they wish to work with us. All Sunni brothers will be welcomed and will be funded to fight for Allah. Together, we can fight infidels. Separately, we achieve nothing. When the time comes for ISIS to reawaken, your organisations will enjoy a great deal of power in which we can continue our jihad but this time, in a much greater capacity.

[M] I'll need a response to each organisation as well as a statement saying what percent of other Sunni terror orgs not mentioned become allies with ISIS. I would think they all would become allies since they're all terrorists hating modernisation.