too much empathy??

My SO/FP and I have been together for almost a year and a half now, and I messed up BIG time in the beginning and lied about it for the entire first year. We're okay now, and past that. We have a beautiful daughter who is three weeks old today. About three months ago, we discovered BPD and realized I needed to be evaluated, which I'm working on now. But since then, I've been doing a lot of work myself and I've gotten pretty far without treatment, but now that we have a child, I know I need therapy so I do not push my symptoms onto her and cause all of this for her.

Now the problem is that I, even in a really good mood, find myself thinking about what I did to him, and I feel like absolute trash. It's shame, guilt, and empathy. I put myself in his shoes often so I don't make a wrong move or anything of the sort, but it makes me anxious and want to die immediately. I don't know why people believe we don't feel empathy? I feel WAY too much.

Any suggestions on how to not feel bad for what I did, other than accepting I'm not perfect, I do accept that but in this case, it makes no difference. :/