I don't want to live

It's been about a year since my last post, and things haven't gotten better. In my last post, I said that I have a loving girlfriend, friends, etc. but my girlfriend broke up with me about six months ago because she got sick of me. I took her for granted, and because of my shitty attitude, I lost the love of my life. I can't get over her. She was so strong for about 2 years, but out of nowhere, she just gave up. My friends don't feel like friends. They only wanna hang around me when there's something fun involved. I've already burdened my girlfriend enough, so I don't want to ask my family for any help. I just want to let everything go. I've attempted suicide 3 times this year, but I can't. I stop last second. I don't want to live, but I'm too much of a coward to die.

TL;DR My girlfriend broke up with me, I don't feel like I can count on anyone, including my friends and family. I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense. I'm a total mess right now.