How do you get out?

For those of you who have been right on the esge of ending it, and were there for a while, how did you make it out of that state of mind? How did you want to participate in life again? I feel stuck at the bottom of a hole and I'm so afraid of trying anything to get out of it. I have friends, I could go to school (and take on massive debt, and which I hate), I could go into the military, but really I just wanna die and end it already. Every day for the past week I've been telling myself I'll wake up in the morning, go climb a tall tree and hang myself, but I haven't so far, mostly because I was too tired and just wanted to sleep some more.

I guess I'm not really suicidal since I have everything prepped to end it but I haven't. I don't know how to move on with my life though. There's nothing I really want other than a companion, food, and water.

I feel stagnant and just ruined and I wanna die, but I guess I don't want to be the one to do it. Maybe I should hire a hit man