I feel like there is no joy

I had shittiest day at work today ever since i started working there in October.. Came close to quiting the job, but how will I provide then? I am feeling incredible weight on my shoulders and its been like it for ages. I know there is no escape from it.

Wish I cold just die in sleep and don't feel a thing. That is a nice way out.

Thoughts of starting to self harm are becoming more lucrative.