The Celestial Kingdom was my retirement plan, I believed all of the miserable earthly sacrifices required (tithing, mission, callings, temple service, precious time away from my family) were investments that would make it all worth it when I die.

But it turns out it's the ultimate pyramid scheme, and all that was for naught. The LDS church gets mega rich and builds malls and cattle ranches from the free labor and donations of the minions at the bottom. And I blindly obeyed until I finally opened my eyes...