One year on from the diagnosis; some observations.

So my son got diagnosed on the spectrum a year and almost 2 weeks ago. He's now 3.5. I thought I'd give an update

By way of background; he was 2.5 when he was diagnosed, we started noticing a regression in his abilities from 18 months to 2 years. He went from having and using a large degree of language (300 plus words) to barely talking. He was arm flapping (which we thought was adorable), had poor eye contact, stopped responding to his name, lined up his toys and was generally disinterested in other children or talking to them or adults. Turned out that he had bilateral glue ear and was getting sick all the time. He had moderate hearing loss as a result and was treated by a tonsilaedenectomy and grommets at 2. He improved substantially after that but not quick enough to suggest that was the only cause of his symptoms. He had sensory issues as well. His stunning was worst when he either wanted to say something but couldn't OT when he couldn't understand something.

We started OT and speech at 2 and after his diagnosis he was enrolled in an ABA program.

At the time I asked this sub for advice and I was really scared about my son trying ABA. It was a heavily modified EDSM based program that uses only positive reinforcement. The amount of autistics who swore it was cruelty made me worry so much about whether I was ding the wrong thing. I promised myself that if I felt it was the wrong thing for my boy I would stop it.

I did the training for the therapy and I understood more why there was opposition. Some of the older demonstration videos looked like they were training an animal by giving popcorn as a reward like giving a dog a treat. That worried me even more.

We kept doing the therapy with OT, Speech, sound and some neurological intervention with the ABA therapy.

The results? Amazing! My little boy is comfortable being around other kids and even enjoys it. Today he played all day WITH his cousins, and loved it. He loved chasing them, playing games with them like hide and seek. He can tell me now what he does and doesn't want which mean life is better for him and us both. We are no longer guessing and getting frustrated; he can tell us what he wants. He is able to join in with other kids playing and he loves it. Before he would follow other kids around and when the asked him something he would start stimming because he didn't know how to deal with it. Physically he can jump, ride a scooter, get himself dressed and undressed. He can have a conversation with us now; something I was worried might never happen.

He loves the ABA therapy. At times he wants to play with his therapists more than he wants to play with us. The therapy works at his pace and was targeted to the skills he needed help with. He had fun and never said he didn't want to go, he'd run to his 'teachers' and give them the biggest cuddles and kisses.

It looks like next year he will be able to start a mainstream pre-school and possibly without a shadow even.

His third cousin in on the spectrum in his teens and is in an ASPECT class and will probably need some degree of assistance in everyday life in adulthood. I was concerned as a parent that my son might end up the same.

We had a review with the developmental PED earlier this year (4-5 months ago) who said that he still fulfils the criteria but is more of a borderline case.

Notwithstanding that, I am so happy that he is doing so well and is a much happier kid than before. He still has his strengths (he knows his numbers really well and can read books on his own!) but the things he struggled with he now knows how to do.

TLDR; guess what I am trying to say is that I'm really proud of my boy and I love him so much. And that the therapy (while daunting) really did help him to be a happier little boy. I am glad that we did it and I want those who are worried about ABA to know that it has gotten better and is not the cruel and harsh treatment it once was.

Ps forgive typos ect and the length