I have no words for how angry I am right now (repeat post from r/beyondthebump).

The wonderful community on r/beyondthebump referred me to this sub, and although they gave me some great advice, I have been up all night for several nights because I just can't quite shake this. My heart is torn. I let my mom get too close to me and my babies. She is a wonderful grandma and when she is good, she is so amazing. It felt so good to have a "normal" helpful mom through my really hard twin pregnancy/birth/first year, but now I feel so obligated to keep her in the picture. I didn't really think she would ever hurt me this bad emotionally again because she's been so amazing for 5 years now. I have suspected my mom to be bpd my whole life, and this recent episode has brought back some of the old feelings from back in the day when she would direct her emotional rage at me. (it was really bad, like she cut up my high school paintings with a butcher knife because I stayed the night at my boyfriends house when I was 18, she also used to make several fake suicide attempts for attention, make up injuries, etc.) This dark feeling tells me that I need to get my babies the hell away from her. They love her though, and my poor stepdad is their grandpa and I don't want to punish him because my mom is a pain in the ass. They have provided us some support, and it's been nice to have some family. Between my husband and I, there's no other relatives within 700 miles of us. My mom has apologized, and cried and cried over this episode from last weekend, and I want to believe that she will never do it again. I want her to continue to have a good relationship with us, but I also don't trust her anymore. I feel guilty for even having the thought of taking her grandbabies away. I am so conflicted and thought you guys might have some insight.

Here's what happened:

My husband got a higher paying job that is 1 hour away from my mom. It will give him more time off and we will actually be able to buy a house and I can be a stay at home mom. We are currently 10 minutes away from my mom, but rent is going up and we can't afford to stay where we are long term. For almost 2 years, my mom has watched our twins for free for 16 hours a week as I've worked part time. Since telling my mom about the move she has texted the following: "You are reckless parents for choosing to move" "You should have consulted me first and I would have convinced him not to take the new job" "You can't function without my support" (she's not exactly paying our bills) "I've spent more time with the twins than you and and they are more bonded with me" (even though I'm with them 24 hours a day, 5 days a week and not to mention the entire year I coslept and breastfed them through the night) "I won't come visit if you're a whole hour away. I'm incapable of driving that far" (this is absolutely not true) "You are hurting your babies" "If anything ever happens to them because you've moved, I will come kill you" There's more, but, you get the picture. My twins do love my mom. She is so cute with them and she has taught them some really cute things. She's also given them way too much sugar behind my back and lets them skip naps to where they've gotten so tired, to the point that they've fallen down stairs. It's my fault for allowing her to care for them. I wish I didn't have her nanny the 16 hours a week and that I allowed her to just be a grandma. I'm full of regret because she now feels too close to them and that she thinks she has the right to dictate my life and my parenting style. She helped a lot when the twins were born by bringing us meals, but now I feel completely horrified that I let her help so much. I'm not trying to take them out of her life completely... it's just an hour, but she's totally gone ape shit over it. I am at a loss of what to even do or say. Update: Thanks everyone for telling me what I needed to hear. I've come to a few conclusions: If she stops the crazy and apologizes, her visits with my children will be supervised. She has been quiet with the texts since last night. She somehow got the impression that she is head of our household. There's nothing like moving away that will set that record straight. I'm now wishing we we're moving even farther away. I'm pretty sure she is a narcissist but I've suspected that my whole life. I am mortified and hurt. I don't know what to do about this, but I am a busy mom of twins and I can't let myself loose any more sleep than I already do over this. Update 2: I got this apology: I want you to know I don't expect a reply or to see the twins ever again but I just want you to know I love you with all of my heart and I'm sorry for the hurtful things that I said and I wish you the best ! I really do!!!💕Love, mom It seems sincere, but all I could do was tell her that I need some time and space. I need to focus on getting my family transitioned into our new home in a few weeks and I need to do it without her controlling us.