I have no motivation to live ...

First of all i am so sorry my bad english. I am an idiot who cant learn english but i must write this post. I dont have anything in this life. I wake up with suicide thought every fucking single day.

I am 17 years old. I have suicidal thought for 3 years. Two times i attempted but i dont have courage to die. I am loser. I am not clever enough for living. I am very ugly. I am fat . I have small penis. I have no chance about girls. I am unsuccesful in everything. I have diabetes. I have keratosis pilaris. I fucking hate myself.

I wish i have courage for suicide. Everytime before i sleep i want to be died morning.