How do I stop resenting other people so much?

I'm such a bitter and judgmental person, honestly.

I'll set myself on fire to keep another person alive, and resent them the entire time for not acknowledging it. This is the most passive aggressive nonsense and it has got to stop, but I don't know how to get myself out of situations where I feel like there is an enormous inequity in the relationship.

But you can't just be like "hey, how come you never ask me how I am? Why are you never interested in what happens in my life?"

I know that I could probably just volunteer information about myself and not have to wait for them to ask (in this instance), but it bothers me that I have to resort to that. There's a vengeful, vindicative part of me that wants them to feel bad and realize that they've been taking advantage of me, and change their behavior instead of the other way around.

I think that's the root of the problem. Not sure how to get past that.