Countdown to TTC decision time and I want all of the help/rants you can supply!

Well, it's happened- I'm officially 35. That means it's time for D(ear) Husband and I to finally make the BIG decision... Kids?

I want them more than Golem wants the ring and DH is on board, given we rearrange a few things (primarily the income/rent situation- which is looking optimistic). The issue I'm starting to have is having to contend with Momma T (My mother) and Olena (My darling MIL).

Momma T is going to be either thoroughly obsessed or mildly interested, depending on when brother and FSIL start trying. Brother is definitely the favorite and I'm a-ok with that.

But I can already imagine Momma T's crazy behind-my-back antics... Mainly things like setting up meetings between family members I do not want my kid(s) around because she thinks I'm being dramatic for not wanting myself or my kid around an actual crack whore, numerous alcoholics, and a several-times-convicted pedophile.

I also feel like she'll try to shame me in front of the child, i.e. "Grandma wants you to stay but mommy said no." And not to mention the ridiculous fact that she wants my kids to call her Momma T!

On the other hand, Olena has graciously offered to take and raise my child as her own in the event that we breed a female human child. /s

She mentions it every time DH and I visit. I know she's excited about the possibility of being a grandmother again* (DH was previously married to a woman with a child. DH had been in the child's life since her first birthday) and honestly I don't want to die on this hill when it's literally just a expression of how much love she wants to give a granddaughter. But she makes it clear that the offer to raise the child is not for any sons. Which worries me she wouldn't love a grandson.

But as normal as Olena is, I fear boundary stomping... Major boundary stomping. And not because she doesn't respect DH and I, but because she wants to play parent. I had a dream the other night that she had my daughter's ears pierced without consulting us while I was still in the hospital recovering from labor. Apparently, my subconscious thinks she'll somehow just waltz out of the hospital with a newborn and take it down to Claire's at the mall for some nifty body modification... Anxiety is fun, isn't it???

Anyway... I don't want to jump the gun on this baby boundary thing. I know I don't have to put boundaries in place immediately, I know DH will have my back even if he thinks I'm wrong, and I know I don't have to (and plan not to) tell anyone when we're in labor or have them visit in the hospital. But I also feel like the best course of action is preventative.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I need your own tales of baby rabies gone wrong and some helpful wording to assist when/if we need to put down some baby boundaries.