Im so tired

Everyday is a constant fight to live and ive been losing this for years now. I can barely sleep when i am very tired and i feel like throwing up everyday. There are days where i just want to destroy my arm with a knife but luckily I can control myself enough to not destroy it. Ive also been losing so much weight because I can't stomach food and I feel so weak.

I've come close to ending it all but every time for some god forsaken reason there's an obstacle in the way. I even pretty much lost all my friends because of all this. I have no one to turn to and i just want this torture to stop. I feel like everything is out to get me and its all so relentless.