[vent] Tired of having to apologise for who I am and accept "mild" transphobia

I'm sorry in advance for the looooong rant to come, but I can't stand it anymore. Congratulations to those who will read at least part of it, I hope it's not too unclear.

This need to rant was triggered by a discussion with two friends about a rather well-liked celebrity who said disgusting things about a trans woman on the radio in my country. This celebrity was not alone, and the other guests (among others, a gay man) were even more disgusting, but that's not the point. If anyone speaks French and wants to hear it for themselves, here is the link. TW: the end, in particular, is horrible, I don't even want to think about it anymore. So, said friends like the celebrity in question, and I had nothing against her or any of the other guests before hearing this, mainly because I don't really watch French tv/listen to French radio. When I told them about the incident they were shocked, and said it was horrible, but one of them in particular was trying really hard to find reasons why the people on the radio would say those things, and to justify it in a way that would not make them appear transphobic. I was saying there was a part of ignorance, but that it was unacceptable that not one of the guests said anything, or that it was not cut from the broadcast or that no-one apologised (it's been two weeks at least). I said very firmly that it was not okay to talk about a trans person's genitals like that, or to ask questions about them. My friend replied that it's normal that people are curious because it's a new thing. We then agreed that it's not acceptable to ask people about their genitals, but she persisted in saying that it's normal that some would like to know.

My friends are respectful of my identity, pay attention not to say anything hurtful, and use the right pronouns. However, I am sometimes faced with that kind of situation, where someone says something transphobic, I'm hurt and angry, but my friends try to play it down. This friend in particular often implies that trans issues are not a priority, because there are more important things to deal with in the country. A ridiculous law was voted earlier in the year, to imply that the court cannot refuse the change of the gender marker on your papers merely because you haven't had any surgery, but it's still very vague and we don't really know what it's going to change yet. When it was passed, my friend said that the parliament was wasting time discussing this and that we should focus on the terrorism threat. I do agree that there are issues that touch more people, but unfortunately terrorism was, in my opinion, not the right example. This friend is also very critical of Pride events, supposedly not because they're about LGBTQ+ people but because "naked people in the street give a bad image of the community, and children might see them". Everytime she says such a thing she asks for my approval and opinion, but if I give it she will twist it somehow so that in her head I kind of agree with her, and it makes it okay to say those things since the token trans person among her friends agrees.

I do not want to antagonise anyone, and always keep calm in these moments, but I am tired of having to reassure cis people that it's ok not to know everything and to sometimes slip up. Please, go clear your conscience elsewhere. I am focussing on this person in particular because it's the most stricking example, but most of the people I know say those things and my parents too, athough they are supportive and I know I'm very lucky in that. For example, when I told my friends and family of my horrible experience with my therapist, they (almost) all tried to justify what he said/did by saying things like "it's his job, he was trying to push you to talk". My parents always encourage me to fight for my rights, sometimes violently ("instead of thinking you must have a hysterectomy, you should fight for the right to change your gender marker without one), but then voted for people who would oppose LGBTQ+ rights or at least do nothing to help us and don't understand the problem. They have their political opinion and I respect that, but I don't want to hear anything about me not fighting for my rights. Fortunately, I have my girlfriend and one friend in particular who always stand by me.

TDLR: My friends and family say midly transphobic things or accept transphobic behaviours, and then ask me to say it's okay to say/do those things to clear their conscience of any transphobia. How do I tell them that it's not okay without antagonising them?