How To Go Out With a Bang: Both as a player, and as a DM

I had to share last night's events with my group of friends from work. It was only our third session since we started in January, with me as DM, and 6 PCs. It was to be my last session as DM as the gnome wizard wanted to take over for a while, and since I already DM another group, I was more than happy to get to play for once.

Everyone knew it was my last DM outing and that inevitably I would have to resolve the session by removing Firey Hedgehog, the gnome wizard, from the story so that the player could take over as DM. They play into it beautifully.

The party reaches Baldur's Gate, having just finished the Dripping Caves from Storm King's Thunder (I was playing it fast and loose with the geography) and I had set them on a path to Waterdeep, by way of boat. Five of the players make their way to the inn to get a bed for the night and grab a few ales before their boat leaves first thing.

Firey Hedgehog, a bounty hunter by trade (and a delusional murderer by nature), makes his way solo to the Town Hall with hopes of cashing in on any bounty available on the goblin boss they'd killed the night before.

I hadn't fully planned on how Firey's grand exit would play out; my only notes were that he would be arrested for several crimes, including murder, illegal bounty hunting, grand larceny and "no less than 27 counts of public urination". I had thought maybe a guard would spot him in the morning as he made his way to boat, there would a little stand off, then he'd get dragged off kicking and screaming.

And then Firey decides to walk into the very office which has put a substantial bounty out on his head.

Meanwhile, at the Rusty Key, Mistrum the goliath innkeeper has responded to the party's requests for any news or rumours going round by saying, "I heard there's a damn large bounty on some gnomish magicker called something stupid like Watery Badger or somethin'."

Here, incidentally, is where I find out I can do a consistent Texas accent, which I run with, and thereafter every character speaks with it - mostly because I now can't get out of the damned thing.

So Firey struts in to the Town Hall, introduces himself to the receptionist as Firey Hedgehog The Great and Mighty Wizard Bounty Hunter and asks to be directed to the bounty office. The receptionist gives a disgruntled "BRB" and comes back with six guards.

Firey Hodgehog, naturally, presumes this is his honour guard who are to take him personally to the office. The guards are somewhat perplexed by this assumption, but the Captain quickly agrees and leads him back out the door towards "Scanlun, the head of the bounty office's home" as he would be "very, very excited to meet you".

I don't want this to play out as a split party, so the guards lead the gnome back past the Rusty Key, where Firey asks if he can quickly show off his honour guard to his party. Warily, but pushed by some divine inclination to agree (read: me), the head honcho guard nods and they stroll inside.

This is already longer than I planned it to be so I shall attempt to succinctly summarise the following events:

• Firey introduces his honour guard in an attempt to wow the party, and demands a guard buy him a drink
• The Party changeling, realising what's happened, telepathically tells Firey it's a trap
• Firey demands one of the guards fetch him an ale
• The changeling, currently disguised as a nobleman, attempts to distract the captain by making a scene
• The changeling then pours ale over the captain using Mage Hand for being rude
• Sensing the fan is about to get pounded by shit, Firey uses Shocking Touch on the captain and readies for combat
• The party barbarian orders his fourth ale, oblivious to the scene behind him
• The captain announces Firey is under arrest and reads off his long list of crimes
• Firey makes a great speech in an attempt to rouse his party and any mercenaries in the area to his aid
• There is no sound but that of an embarrassed cough, and the gnome is left alone in the centre of the room, staff above his head
• The changeling warlock uses Suggestion on the wizard, telling him to drop his dagger, his trousers and hand himself over
• Firey reluctantly obliges, but still in possession of his staff, casts Bonfire on the area around him, using this as a distraction to get the hell out of dodge
• The gnome wizard runs off into the evening, trousers flapping from one leg, shouting "You're all a bunch of C****s!" and urinating furiously the whole time
• The guards follow
• The barbarian tries to put out the fire with his beer, then goes to order another

And that is the end of Firey Hedgehog's story. For now.