My mom is driving me crazy and I dont know what to do about my depression.

hi, I've always been a religious person(never missed any prayers,even did a lot of nafilas as well) but, they I stopped believing in islam a few week before ramadan and its really hard for me to just fake pray,so I stopped.Actually I stopped praying almost 2 years ago in college but I was away from home so no one noticed.Any way, yesterday my mom and aunt were talking about how lucky my mom is to have very religious children and how she has been blessed by god blah blah then she turned to me and was like I also used to be like that but she doesnt know why i've changed recently.I feel like she monitors my prayers sometimes because she confronted me about it almost a month ago, but now she doesnt say anything as I try to pray sometimes in her presents.The one things I cant wrap my head around is that she also never pray.Like never,okay maybe she prays when shes with her friends of something but never at home.oh, she also doesnt fast but thats because her doctor told her not to and she’s sick.But if she doesnt pray why does she care if i pray or not(hypocrite much?).I remember when I was religious,I used to think that my mom would go to hell to be honest. I think she cares about what people think of me more than she cares about me.One time she told me that I should cover my head and all when i'm in the country but when I go back to england I can leave my hair open if I want.All she cares about is the respect that people have for her really. My Mom and I have been fighting a lot because I don’t just shut up and agree with her even when she’s wrong, then she starts saying things like even your sibling are older than you but they don’t go against me when I speak but you(I’m the youngest) have the guts to argue with your mother, I hope this isn’t the way you’ll behave with your husband when you get married.Dot you know I’m your mother and God said to obey and listen to your parents, one day I won’t be around to tell you this blah blah blah.She’s just an emotional bully and whenever we argue she’s starts talking about her dead and all that to get me to do what she wants.Its so frustrating and this happens every day.Then she start talking about how I don’t call her when I’m in school or when I’m with my Dad, like obviously I wouldn’t want to speak to you all the time when all you do is complain about me and how I’m becoming a bad person. Also, I have been suffering from depression for the past 2 years or so and I haven’t told anyone or gotten any help because I can’t even talk to my family about something like that and have them take me seriously, I wish i new other ex muslims in real life who I could talk to just not to feel alone anymore.In my country people don’t really talk about depression or even know that its an illness to begin with.Anyway i like to be alone most of the time at home,I don’t talk much to anyone and I usually stay up at night ,and sleep in the morning until really late in the day. She says that I need to start talking to people more because when I get married my husbands family will hate me if I’m not always talking to them and being cheerful WTF and that I should start sleeping and waking up early so that I can wake up early and cook for my husband.Like I don’t even understand this,why is my whole life about marriage and keeping my husband happy why and why can’t she see that theres something wrong with her daughter and that i need help.Everything has just gotten worse for me because I’m always at home and i can’t get away from all this(I’m taking a gap year).These people are my family and I really hate being around them cause they’re so judgmental and hate anything thats different from them.This is my life and its driving me crazy.I can’t wait to go back to school in September even though I’m studying economics which I have no interest in whatsoever,but my dad won’t let me study what I want(computer science).He’s so controlling and so flipping difficult.I sure have the best bloody parents.Okay I should stop ranting the is already long enough.Anyway, if you’ve made it down here thanks for reading this long ass post and feel free to comment on anything.