Can't find help I can afford. Thinking about ending my life.

Title says it all. I can't find the help I need at a price I can afford and for about a month now I've been planning how I'll end my life. I'm tired of trying. I've been suffering for 15 years.

I've had generic counselors but they haven't helped at all.

I'm doubt meds will solve it either. It's not a medical issue in my case. It's a mind fuck behavioral one.

I am committed to trying meds but if they are ineffective I'm going to end my life I think.

Just needed to get that off my chest.