there's a lot to live for, fam.

Lost track somewhere along the line, but creeping up right around three full months of sobriety from opiates; intravenous heroin & oxymorphone/codone being my most frequently used and personal favorites (just to provide a little background insight). I'll spare any details of how absolutely horrible my detox was, as any of the multitude of members on this forum who have had the misfortune of becoming dependent on these potent chemicals are uncannily familiar with the painstaking desolation that commences upon discontinuance of use. The legitimate black cloud hovering imminently behind the blissful, blue skied paradise that is being opiated; readily waiting to dismantle and uproot the sheer feeling of contentment that this drug class provides so immaculately.

I'm not posting to preach about how amazing my life has become following cropping opiates out of the picture. As each day passes, I can more-efficiently recognize and accept just how incomprehensibly difficult this task truly is. Opiates, although my genuine weakness and definitive 'DOC' are but one single sector of the drugs that will forever remain apart of me - chemicals that have so vigorously shaped & continue to shape, both negatively and positively, the very existence I'm blessed to call my own.

The progress I've made thus far has merely begun to chip away at the shell of the human I became under the influence of opiates - slowly, but surely replenishing the most basic entities going along with being a 22 year old trying desperately to make something of himself. The emotions and the general ability to 'feel' that I'd become so adamantly bent on drowning out in the past crash heavily back into my everyday life like a psychological tsunami, destroying the numbed-out haze that'd become second nature to an addict such as myself.

I'd like to thank each and every beautiful soul that took the time to read this rant, spewed from a brain freshly gripping itself back to any ideation of reality it found so fucking difficult to face in the past. I'd like to state in the most sincerely genuine manner conveyable through a simple post on this forum that you - the life you lead, and whatever you see your life becoming - really are worth it. All bullshit aside. Much love & godspeed to anyone in the midst of quitting this brutal habit, and kudos to those of you who've succeeded. May we all find something positive worth working toward & ultimately living for.