day one of hell weekend

I get to work this morning all dolled up for the local uni graduation knowing that everyone and their goddamned mom is going to be checking in and that my GM has a laundry list of things she hasn't even thought of to stress out about and another honey do list of things for Casa De Pineapple. We have banners to hang and floors to pressure wash and a bunch of cranky guests to check out.

My summary on bookface went like this:

Today I hung banners, baked 108 hotel cookies (seriously no joke), plated 108 cookies, dealt with about 25 people trying to check in early, at least four of those were prior to check out, had a few people try to bitch out of their reservation or change it day of because it finally dawned on them that they are paying 400 dollars per night to be here, gave directions to the breakfast room approximately 99 times, didn't cry once. Round two of the Graduation Gauntlet is tomorrow night! Bring it bitches.... #hotellife

Which is a TL;DR for my family who is bummed I can't spend Father's Day weekend with them.

Other interesting shit that happened included...

-The rude Cuban family that insisted that they had booked two days and hadn't. All day long we were trying to figure out what the fuck happened with these 3 rooms that should have been checked out but hadn't. They were super Snowflake Members meaning that even if we just said fuck it and charged them for a second day, they could dispute the 300+ dollar a night charge and we'd most likely have to comp them because they couldn't get their shit together and pay attention to their own vacation plans. This combined with a new houseman who radioed the desk to tell us one of these guests had left because he got the room numbers wrong ended up with housekeeping and management and the front desk fighting.

-I seriously had to bake 108 cookies. It's really hot where I am and the Magic Cookie Easy Bake Oven is in the back office for the FD. So this thing was going non stop for a few hours. It was a fucking furnace and the local electric company was warning us of rolling blackouts/brownouts so we had to turn the air off for awhile.

-Breakfast this weekend is catered. This seems like a really extravagant expense for us to me but what the fuck do I know? I'm just baking a billion cookies and arguing with Mrs Can I Speak To Your Manager about why she's not supposed to check in a fucking hour before check out. Don't mind me I'll just be over here sweating.

-My coworkers are all at each other's throats because of stress and whatever. Rooms have issues that literally should have been fixed in the last few days but whatever, not my circus not my monkeys.

-For some reason I immediately am always the person that gets in the cross hairs of "this other person fucked up but we're going to lecture you about how they fucked up and act as though you are the one who fucked up." I am still getting lectures on how the girl who left before I even started working there fucked up.

-I'm still newish but I have a working knowledge of how the fuck shit works. I do FINE on my own when they let me work on my own. My problem is that everyone who's been there longer than me "trains" me differently. I've given up because I'm sick of getting talked down to and just do whatever task I need to do exactly the same way the person on desk with me does it. This sounds like training but I literally am learning to mimic five different people. God forbid when I ask for help if I forgot because I've been working with someone else for a couple of weeks, because that apparently that means I'm "not improving"

-One of my coworkers who's just a little less new than me got chewed out today and I literally should have stood up for him. He said something that wasn't stupid or anything but the timing was bad. In his heart he believed that giving out extra breakfast vouchers wasn't that big of a deal or you know not charging people for replacing their breakfast vouchers wasn't a big deal. Like he thought he was just doing his job. Seeing the amount of returned vouchers that never even get used and the sheer volume of leftovers we have every day, he's not wrong really but holy shit don't say that out loud. After everyone else walked away I did give him some pointers on how to ask people exactly how many people are in the room and how long they're going to be staying without sounding like a fucking Boarder Guard and we chatted a little about the differences in this property and the ones we worked at previous. Like I've been at two other places and neither of them ever charged for rollaways, extra people, extra vouchers etc.

And finally the cherry on top of our Pineapple Upside Down Cake today was the crazy ass woman that my GM let camp out in our lobby/lounge for part of the day.

When I originally met this woman I had walked up in the middle of her talking to a coworker at the desk and it seemed as though she had been a guest of the hotel the night previous and didn't want to stay another night because our rates had jumped so high. My coworker didn't stop me when I said, "I'm doing the call around anyway, so I'll find something for her." I called... every. single. hotel. in. the. city. No one stopped me from blowing like 20 minutes doing this and getting rates for any and every hotel that was able to answer their phone. All of these rooms were too expensive for this woman who claimed hotels never cost more than 70 dollars.

Yeah have fun on Neptune lady, are you out of your mind?

It turned out later when someone FINALLY decided to tell me what's what, that this woman hadn't even stayed with us. Nope, she just wandered in after "getting off a plane from Hawaii" and was either waiting for a bus or trying to find a room closer to the train station. Um okay...

Later in the day after she'd been camped out for like fucking four hours or some shit, I was hanging banners with a breakfast attendant and this woman just interrupts us with a question.

Crazy Hawaiian Bitch: You were so nice to me earlier so I figure you won't mind if I ask you... why when you have such pretty hair do you cut your hair like that? I mean why do you shave the sides of your hair? It's so manly. How do you expect to get married with hair like that?

pause...: This isn't the point but I am married. Like if I showed you my ring, it's obvious from fucking space that I'm married. unpause

Me: Well ma'am I was glad to try to help you find accomodations today, it was my pleasure.

CHB: But about your hair?

Me: Ma'am my childhood best friend had a brain tumor and I wanted to support her when she went through chemo. Since I work with the public this is as close as I could get to shaving my head with her when she had to shave hers. Is there anything else I can do for you?

CHB: Well I still think you should grow it out. You could be so pretty and you could find yourself a husband if you did.

Me: I'll be sure to remind my husband that he's lost when I see him tonight, have a nice day.