Sometimes I wish I didn't ever find out this church was a lie

Now that I know it's a lie it is making me insane . If only I didn't ask so many questions I wouldn't be despretly trying to prove to myself that a afterlife exists. Death scares me and coming to terms with just nothing happening when we die is scary. It's ruining me I lose sleep researching after life all of it comes out as bullshit. Closest I've got to anything is kids who remember being somebody else so clearly that they remember the names of people how they died and friends of the guy who died the exact address and then they prove everything they said as right. How did any of you come to terms with it if you have