Scared

I am so scared to open up anything to anyone because I don't want to bother them and make them feel sad and responsible for what's going through my head. I feel like they have enough shit on their plate to worry about another person and I also feel like this is my responsibility to myself to fix.

I feel so tired, my head's about to explode and I feel like dying but I don't want to kill myself. I just wish I could get a long hug from someone that I care about but they don't and I don't want to beg for the attention and feel like I'm manipulating them to care about me.

I just don't know anymore, I feel really fucked up in my head right now.