#HYPOCRISY_ALERT!!!! As Skittles suspends their use of the rainbow colors to support the LGBT community, SJWs flock to Twitter to scream #RacistSkittles for having a white bag & white shell. Funny how they find racism in the background of something that can now only be identified by its black ink.

In tomorrow's news: a young white female in Portland steps in to fight oppression at a local pub. While playing a game of pool, she was triggered on the realization that cue balls are blatantly racist for being too white. She was praised by local patrons for fighting the patriarchy after she bravely saved all the colored balls from their oppressor by running out the door and transferring them to a safe space, leaving behind only the white cue ball on the table and a $20 tab at the bar. In a show of solidarity with Philly, she was reported to have found a semi-round brown rock that was integrated into the colored balls.

Only one fatality was reported during this trigger. The pool stick was later found broken in half underneath the table. Reports state our hero had been using the stick to hit the forcibly strike the cue ball repeatedly for three games immediately the trigger.

She will be rewarded with a parade in her honor next week, where she will also be presented with a gold star from her favorite elementary school teacher. All cis-white-male attendees will be required to hand out participation trophies to all other attendees so that inherent privileges will not be forced upon all others attending the celebration.