Office Ham and the Tuna Sub of Disgust

Hello! Long time lurker, first time poster. This is a throwaway account because my main is way too easily traced back to me. A small cast of introduction:

Nachosurfer- myself, your wonderful protagonist. I work at a hospital, so I have many, many a story to share with you all. I’m an office jockey, so I don’t work with patients directly, but I still deal with an insurmountable amount of hams.
Office Ham- My coworker. A very sweet woman, and a hard worker, but holy fuck is she a ham, and manages to come up with some off the wall fatlogic. She also has terrible hygiene, so her odor can sometimes be overpowering within the confines of a small office.
The setting: My office, which is open 24 hours a day. I generally work from mid-morning to early evening. Office Ham was scheduled to come in at 3:00 pm that day.

OH arrives about 45 minutes early for her shift, two bags in tow. We exchange pleasantries, and then she sets herself up in our break area, which was right next to where I was working, to eat her lunch. Lunch is what appears to be around 1.5-2 lbs of boneless chicken wings, with ranch on the side. She polishes those off, and I’m not really judging yet, because I could probably eat that many hot wings at once as well, as they are fucking delicious.

OH comes on the clock, and the office is pretty dead at that point. We chat a bit, and after about an hour she asks if she can go on break. I give 0 shits, so I give her the go ahead. So she makes a call, disappears for a bit, and comes back with a bag from the sandwich shop that promises “freaky fast delivery”. This is where everything went downhill.

The office fills with the worst odor. I’m gagging, trying to figure out if someone died or had a shit-splosion in the lobby. OH returns to the break room with her sandwich. Ah, the source of the smell. Dying inside, eyes streaming, I asked her what she ordered. She ordered a tuna salad sandwich, on french bread. Now these normally aren’t too bad for you. Her’s was “decked out”. Double tuna, double cheese, extra mayo, extra onions, extra italian vinaigrette, 2 orders of bacon, and no veggies. Which she had then MICROWAVED for 2 minutes. Y’all, I thought I was going to hurl, or have an out of body experience of some sort. Maybe both. In addition to this behemoth she ordered two chocolate chip cookies and the largest size they had of Beetus-Juice. She inhaled all of it in under 15 minutes, complete with slurping, snorting, open-mouth chewing, and grunting. Her meal had about 3000 calories, I had to keep checking the math on the restaurant's website, because I couldn’t believe it. That was on top of all the wings she ate when she got to the office. I snuck out the office shortly after, simply because the stench was too overpowering to go on. Dinner was skipped that night, due to the nausea.