I do not like being this fat. I do not like owning two cats.

I do not like being this fat. I do not like owning two cats.

I do not like being this weird. I do not like my dumb neck beard.

I do not like being alone. I do not like playing trombone.

I do not like government checks. I do not like not having sex.

I do not like internet porn. I do not like that I was born.

I do not like this can of Spam. I do not like the man I am.

I'll blow a hole right through my head. No one will even know I'm dead.

(Source)