Just Defaulted on a Student Loan for over $20,000, what should I do?

I have been struggling to pay student loans for almost 10 years, it feels very hopeless. I was sent a letter back in November from Loan Science, the servicer is ACS. They informed me if I dont pay off my entire loan in 21 days it will default, so I didn't pay it as there is no way I can do that.

I check my account in Jan and Feb and see that my loans are still showing there and I can still make regular payments. I contact ACS to see if I have defaulted or not and they do not reply at all. I cannot get through to them by phone either, the line was always busy oddly enough.

Anyways, recently moved back home to my moms to help with finances and because she has a knee surgery, which is today actually. Had a letter from loan science at my mom's house, they still sent mail there for some reason, and it said to pay $247 to avoid a charge off, or just call as there are options that involve not paying.

So I call and Connie informs me that all of my loans have already been charged off, one is defaulted, the other two are 'charge off.'

We talk for a bit about options and she is trying to get me to pay, but says it wont change the charge off or defaults. I cannot pay at this time anyways, so they are going to default.

I am wondering what will happen next? Due to student loans my life is pretty much completely fucked. I graduated in 2008, got a job for $14 an hour and struggled to pay the over $1,400.00 in loans I had. Got them down to $800 a month, which is about where I am at now.

I will never get a house, car, etc... with a loan and I forsee me getting wages garnished. I am trying to figure out the best plan so I can have the most amount of cash for my future.

Will this be on my credit report for my whole life? Honestly, I hope I just die in the next few years so I dont have to deal with this. It has completely ruined any hopes of a normal life for me. Wont get married due to this, no kids, no house, etc...

Thanks for reading, sorry if I sound bitchy, I am just very sad about this situation. Wish I never went to college, worst decision of my life.