No need to read and I'm not killing myself either. I just need to vent out.

I'm not going to kill myself so no need to convince me not to. I just really need to vent out since I really have no friends that I can share my sentiments with.

I'm just so tired of the only talent that I have; fucking everything up, that is. It doesn't even matter how easy the task is, I just somehow manage to mess everythibg up. I really really hate myself from the bottom of my heart. I do have suicidal thoughts, but I won't pursue coz my mom will suffer here in the country.

I don't even know why a worthless piece of shit like me is still living. I mean, I litererally have nothing to contribute to the world if you count out my taxes and the CO2.

I know I said I'm not going to comnit suicide but to be honest, I just really want to be gone. I am weak. Too weak for this world. I disappoint everybody. I disappoint myself. I'm stupid. I am a fucking embarrassment to all the people I know.