Let's all stop saying "unironically!"

I am going to have to insist that everyone, including me, stop saying they like things "unironically." I will bet that there are people who say they like things "unironically" more often than they say they like things, straight up, and the thought of them chills my spine.

I think it is a good step towards ending the separation of our likes and dislikes into two piles, things we full-on like because we feel they're acceptable to like, and things we like but have to say we like ironically because they are from 1999, or air on MTV, or both. When we tag our appreciation of something as unironic we are essentially saying "Any right-thinking person would assume I 'like' this thing, in air quotes, but I actually just LIKE it, in spite of knowing, as a right-thinking person, that I should have to somehow blunt my feelings about it with sarcasm. By acknowledging all this, I'm getting to have it both ways!" And that is tiresome. That is pointless. That is taking one step into pure, wonderful, genuine LIKE while leaving your other foot in Cool Kid Land because you think you're supposed to.

If I tell you I like it, then I like it. If there is a cowardly qualifier on my affection, I will let you know.