Me [28f] with a man [32m] I've been seeing for a month, he seems willing to do long-distance but I'm scared of it.
I'm at a summer internship and met this WONDERFUL man on Tinder, let's call him Brad, within my first days of being here. For the last month or so we've seen each other roughly twice each week, and have been in text-contact every day. I didn't expect to meet someone I'd be seriously into, but he's AWESOME. Funny, emotionally open, and incredibly caring and affectionate. REALLY good sex, too, like, damn. I have met some of his friends too, and I like the friendships he keeps. He lives in a city an hour away from the town where my internship is, and it's been really easy for both of us to drive to see each other for dates. Most importantly, last weekend he drove up to the town where I live permanently (about a three hour drive) with me to help me move my furniture into the room of a roommate who's moving out, and met some of my friends while there. His kindness and willingness to go out of his way for me has blown me away.
My internship ends in about a week and a half, and I'm starting to stress out about what to do with Brad. The idea of organizing a long-distance relationship, especially after only dating for a month, seems stressful to me, and the three hour distance, while not so bad, is big enough to make planning a visit a bit of an ordeal. He's said he's down for whatever happens, and has said things that make me think he sees this as something that could continue (small stuff like, "if this continues, you'll definitely hear me talk in my sleep at some point", asking me how the drive felt to me after we got back [idk, this seemed like him testing the waters to me]).
Reddit, I'm kind of freaking out about this. I have never been convinced that a person I date would step outside of their comfort zone for me, but also......I think this one might. Little things he does, like massage my shoulders after the drive, hold my hand in public, tell me I'm beautiful, etc. blow me away. We even had a really tense moment this last weekend, and I was incredibly moved when he wanted to talk about it and resolve it this morning after we'd slept. My last relationship, and several people I've dated in the last three years, was never that openly affectionate and thoughtful. I'm scared that this is just a beautiful moment in time and pushing it too hard will make everything fall apart. In my last relationship, I felt like an accessory to my boyfriend's life, while he was never a part of mine, and I'm worried that this feeling will return in a long-distance relationship. I'm also worried about diving into something so soon after ending another relationship (I was single for like 3 weeks before I met Brad...like I said, unexpected). But I also don't want to throw this away prematurely, and three hours drive is really not too long.
I know I need to talk to him about this, but I'd like to get my own thoughts straight. I want to keep seeing him, but I am not sure if I am comfortable with the distance. It would be nice to hear some outside perspective, or stories of things going well. Before you suggest this, I'm in therapy, haha. I haven't talked to my therapist yet, though.
tl;dr: I'm scared about doing long-distance with a new person, but don't want to throw it away.
Posted Jun 26, 2017, 8:40 PM UTC