6 weeks in, no improvement whatsoever, losing all hope.

I have been on cpap for 6 weeks(1.5 months now) and I still haven't gotten used to it. Trust me, I've tried many different setups, I have probably found the one that is the most comfortable for me personally,, so trying a new mask/new machine/new chinstrap or whatever won't work. It's not so much the sensation or this particular mask that's bothering me(I use an airfit p10 the least bothersome mask of all) it's moreso the entire experience of cpap that's just been a complete chore. The longest I've slept with it on is 4 hrs, followed by 2 hrs 45 min, other than that everry single night has been 30min, 1hr, 1.5 hrs, 2hrs, some nights I can't even stand it on my face. Most nights it's less than 2 hrs before I wake up. I'm cranky as all hell, depressed and suicidal, and it's not just using cpap that's the challenge at this point, it's just functioning, getting through the day, and having the will to live. I fantasise about giving up and suicide constantly. I see a psychiatrist and psychotherapist regularly, have been in therapy for years, have tried different psychiatric drugs(antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds) nothing is working. Everything boils down to the quality of my sleep and nothing is working. My body just refuses to cooperate with cpap. I read stories of people who take 6 months/7 months/a year or multiple years to literally get a full nights sleep on it. There was even one user who posted in 2005 that he tried everything and was finally giving up, and in 2015 he posted again saying that he was trying and still getting used to it. 10 years..... I don't want to sound like a spoiled whiny child, that refuses to keep trying or refuses to be patient, I'm just afraid that I won't be alive in 3 months or 6 months because I might be tempted to end it. The fatigue and accompanying depression has left me disabled, I live at home, I don't work, thank goodness I come from a good family who can afford to take care of me in this time. My sister even told me that she has been going through therapy to brace herself mentally just in case she has to deal with me killing myself; this ordeal has taken a huge toll on myself and my family. I don't even know if this is a cry for help or just ranting.