I am going to make changes that I will actually stick to this time

I am tired of failing and starting over, it has been 5 years now since I've been trying to quit pot, quit porn, quit the internet and quit jacking off.

It is so incredibly hard, I have achieved nothing, no accomplishments nothing to show for but the same kid just half a decade older.

From 18 to 22, I've been trying to stop using the internet so much. It's hard because my smartphone is always connected to the internet, and then I get horny when I go on Instagram and then I jack off to porn and then I smoke weed and I do NOTHING all day but play videogames and jack off and smoke weed and browse Reddit.

I have graduated highschool 7 years ago, and I still haven't done anything, not even a job.

I am such a loser, I have to get in shape and make some money at least get a job or start school but I keep waking up, jacking off and getting high and playing videogames and then browsing Reddit until I am too tired to continue then I pass out.

Still a virgin, still socially awkward, still fat and lonely and still addicted to porn, pot, internet and videogames.

I honestly hope I die of a heart attack while there is porn on my computer while I hold a joint in my mouth so my negligent parents who only care about my other brothers which are much prettier than I am realize how much of a fucking loser I am. A fucking out of shape mentally fucked burnout that is addicted to constant dopamine releases and can't fucking man up and just quit my addictions and go to school or something.