How can I stop thinking of every girl I meet as a potential partner? I feel like this line of thinking is quite dehumanising and I know I'm only doing it because I want to fill a void, it's clearly unhealthy, I want to stop.

So I'm 17 and I'm a regular at r/raisedbynarcissists, I feel like because of the way my parents are and the fact that I don't have many non-superficial friends coupled with my (mild?) social anxiety making me feel no one truly cares about me (maybe it's not social anxiety and it's the truth, who knows?), I feel unloved/unwanted and I really want to make a connection with someone.

If any girl has anything in common with me and they talk to me and are friendly with me, I start to judge them as a potential partner and become kind of attracted to them briefly but after a few days it wears off and comes back again and again weaker each time, it'd be gone completely if it wasn't for my dissociation making me think unclearly all the time.

The problem is, I have no female friends because I have high standards for someone to be my friend compared with everyone else I know, I want my friends to actually have stuff in common with me, similar interests, way of thinking. And if I met a girl who met these standards, to me they'd be good enough for me to be attracted to them because they're about as rare as me meeting someone who could be real friends with me, except they're a girl, meaning I could make a deeper connection with them and they could love me more than a friend could, my (probably flawed) reasoning behind this is that I'm used to making "friends" with people for them to never contact me to ask to hang out, even if I ask them to hang out a few times, so I feel they don't really like me however for someone to go out with me, they'd have to like me in the first place.

Or course, I do have atleast 1 friend who asks to hang out with me, so I appreciate that friendship dearly, because it's a 2-way street.

I've recently made friends with a girl who seems nice, we have a few things in common but they're all trivial things, nothing important really, no common interests, just similar personalities and social status (in the realm of high school) but I feel like an asshole because the main reason I tried to be friends with her in the first place was because I had a crush on her because I thought she was cute what with her slight mannerisms/the general way about her and because I thought we had similar personalities and that we'd get along, I realise now that's not enough reason to start a relationship with someone and I do like and respect her as a friend but whenever she laughs or shares something funny with me I feel the attraction again, we haven't even hung out outside of school yet so we really barely know each other so I know that I'm just being fickle and jumping the gun a lot.

My point is, I want to stop being an asshole who dehumanises potential friends who happen to be female by fantasising about them filling the void I feel even when there's honestly not enough there to start a meaningful relationship and I'd only be trying to start one to make me feel loved, has anyone else gone through a similar process? How can I get out of this?

Edit: when I say "dehumanise", I don't necessarily mean "objectify", just more along the lines of overlooking more crucial, 'human' factors, for instance, I still think of their struggles and how they feel but when I'm "attracted" to someone, I can be more ignorant of these things than if I wasn't, sometimes I can care too much and come across as creepy and when I'm aware of this, it just makes me feel like my caring for them is just disengenuous as I'd probably care less if I didn't want them to like me back as much. It makes me feel like an evil, manipulative person.