Sure, I'll get you onto a train. Might not be the right one, though. (X Post /r/IDontWorkHereLady)

I used to work at an airport, in the duty-free store, during the early morning (4am) shift. My uniform consisted of a fairly nice suit, name badge, and lanyard. If it wasn't for the big "DUTY FREE" logo on the name badge, it'd be easy to mistake me for a general office worker or so, especially being nearish London.

I'd get the train to and from work every day, as I lived 30 seconds from a station that took me directly to the airport station. There would be several times after work that people would mistake me for a station staff member (It's the lanyard.. Every time! Forget the fact I'm not wearing a bright orange reflective vest). Usually I'd laugh, explain that I don't work there, but if it's a simple question ("Excuse me, does this train go to xxxx station?" or "Which platform are the trains to xxxxx?"), I'd be happy to help them anyway. They'd be embarrassed about the mistake, but thank me anyway for the help.

But not Dickhead.

It was following a particularly gruelling shift. Plane cancellations meant that there were a lot of angry customers, wanting to vent that their holiday was being delayed. Forget the fact that I couldn't magically fix their plane from my till, it didn't stop them complaining. I understood, I sympathised, that's fine. But at the end of this shift I was wrecked. I wanted to be home, ASAP.

Waiting at the station, the train was due to be 20 minutes late. I'm standing there on my phone, killing time, when Dickhead storms up to me, all pissed off;

Dickhead: "These train delays are fucking ridiculous. I'm supposed to be at [location] in an hour and a half! Your company is fucking shit. Do they ever run on time?"

Me: "Excuse me? What do you want me to do about it?"

Dickhead: "Well fucking call me a taxi or something, I'm going to be late because of you people!"

Me: "... Right. You needed to get to [Location], right?"

Dickhead: "Yeah."

Me: "Excellent, well luckily the train on platform 2 is due to go that way in 5 minutes, your best bet is to take that train up to [different location], then change platform there for a fast train to [location]. That'll get you there maybe 5 minutes late, but much better than waiting for this train"

Dickhead: "I'll still be fucking late though, but I'll have to, won't I?"

Off storms dickhead to platform 2. I watch from my platform as the train pulls in, he gets on it, and away he goes.

I can't help but smile, knowing that he's now travelling 20 minutes in the complete opposite direction of where he wants to go, and knowing that when he changes at the station I told him to, he'll soon discover the lack of fast trains, or in fact ANY train, that will get him to where he needs to be. His only option is getting a train straight back to the airport station.

Hope his train wasn't delayed when he got back there.

(I messed up posting the first time, sorry!)