"Read My Lips". A song I wrote about feeling a connection with a stranger you're dancing with in the club.
Posted Jul 6, 2017, 9:00 PM UTC
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Your music sets the scene for a dance with dim lighs and since thats what you were going for thats GREAT because yall NAILED IT. Its different then what we hear today and i love the story behind it. Sets the scene perfect but when we get to the end when im finally about to kis this beautiful stranger and that guitar solo come on at the end i need it to BANG more. It hit me as if after me and the girl kissed there were no fireworks that the song built me up for. other than that i love it. Should work on a video for it it would kill. Watch Lill Yachty video for "Bring it Back" that kind of scene minus the jokes. hope this helps
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Thanks! I looked up the yacthy video and when he's dancing with her is exactly what I had in mind when writing the songs.
And yeah I'll probably add I final chorus , really loud or maybe changed lyrics signifying the guy got in with this girl..
Thanks for the advice!
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Ok, NOW we're talking! Nice work, man. I'm a sucker for the slow jam kinda Toro Y Moi vibe you've got going on. Your structure is cool, though I really was hoping for a more distinct break between your verse and chorus, because there is a hook in that "read my lips" part that you have not taken full advantage of. Add a bridge in this bad boy somewhere, and it's ON. As for production, you are teetering right on the precipice of a wee much processing on the vox. I imagine you are likely performing and recording and mixing? Yeah. It's so so hard to mix your own voice. It takes years and years and even then, most of us hate the sound of our own voice. I think if you CENTER the vox that would probably help with the intelligibility even without tweaking the efx if you are in love with them, but maybe giving a shade more dry and a wee less wet could help too. But, I really do like what you're doing here. Thanks for sharing, and I hope to hear more!
Thank you for the feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And yeah separating the verse from chorus is a huge hurdle for me. I've identified that weakness a while back. For some future tracks that I'm working on I'm putting a silent break between verse/chorus. Or making chorus so loud compared to the verse. As for bridges, in most songs I'm just putting a guitar solo, sometimes I get so locked in on certain chords that I don't want to mess up the vibe by changing them. Something I need to get over.
And yeah it's a friend and I that perform, record, and mix. We're beginners in mixing, this was the first song we did. We have a few more that we're working on and well take your advice on the vox. That's really the hardest part.
Thank you so much!