Sex is not all about getting off

I kinda had this idea for awhile now but it's hard to really explain it. Since going PornFree time in the bedroom has improved with my girlfriend but it's a bit up and down (pun totally intended). Some days everything is smooth some days it's a disaster. We're both kinda inexperienced but good news is we love each other and we're willing to work together.

I think a big thing is I put a lot of emphasis on like, getting off. So I plan my masturbation habits around when I will probably be having sex. Because it's easier to get off, get an erection, keep an erection when I don't masturbate so often. But then that day comes and I'm all awkward because I've been planning it all out in my head.

Well today I went to the pool with my girlfriend, it's a new town for me and this was the first time going to the pool here with her. We weren't making out in the pool or anything, lol, I mean I half-jokingly touched her butt a few times and we were just joking around etc. I guess in the moment I didn't even think about it. But it was totally sexual. Very little clothes, physical contact, enjoying each other's company. That's sexual!

And it was damn fun! I guess because I didn't regiment it all out and plan for it. Or have any objective in mind. So I hope I can apply this kind of experience to our time in the bedroom. Wait a minute, there I go again, planning it out, making goals! Haha. But I don't know. It felt good and that's the kind of sexuality I want to have. Not this up in my head, make me cum thing.

I hesitate with this too because I absolutely don't like the attitude of "you shouldn't cum", "cumming is bad" because I think I have a guilt/shame thing about it too. I think cumming is totally great. I just think there's more too it. So I'm gonna do what I can to just flow with it and let things happen naturally. Which is probably, relax and do nothing, lol.

How this relates to porn? Porn is just like, boom boom boom, finish in 5 minutes, satisfied my monkey brain. I guess that's the attitude I'm trying to get away from. Being PornFree is a great start. Stay strong friends.

PS - People often say, "yeah but I don't have a girlfriend", well the point still applies, you know? All about letting go and living more organically.