My dad found out that me and my girlfriend smoke pot

I've been smoking weed for about 8 months, and whenever I'm without It I just want to end it all... I just can't be happy no matter what.

I can't stand being depressed anymore, I wish I was high all the time even though I don't "like" how it makes me feel all that much....I guess I just enjoy the temporary relief. What's so bad about that? I don't even want to be here anymore so why can't I at least live the way I want.