GF of 5 years left me. She is dealing with depression and I failed to help her.

We study in the university with both one year of five remaining. During all our time in the university her courses have been extremely tough. With over 60% dropping the program in the first year and even more in the later years. She is a very smart girl and I am often so impressed and proud over her achievements in life. She is known as the forever happy girl. Until her grandma died very unexpectedly slightly more than a year ago.

Her death has been haunting her with nightmares and sudden outbursts of crying. Sometimes when she talks about her passed grandma she talks about her in present tense. I'm not sure if this is a facade and a way to cope or some warning signs of her not dealing with this good enough. It is such a loaded subject and we haven't been able to really talk about it. I wish I had pushed her more to talk about it but we almost always only talked about it when she initiated it. I was so afraid of making it worse. I read that dealing with death takes time and I really did not want to haste it. Now afterwards I wish I had.

On top of that this past year school has been very difficult and consuming a lot of time for the both of us, resulting in less time alone with each other and the weekdays just going on auto pilot.

A few months ago we had rather serious talk about our future together and what we would like to do after we graduate. This talk left us somewhat in uncertainty because she can not understand how I can not have any clear path of what I want for the future. I am a guy that sort of takes it as it comes, maybe a little too much sometimes. I kept saying that lets focus on what we have now, lets graduate and then see where we get jobs e.t.c.. It's hard for me to express this with words but it got rather tense as she said some to me very harsh stuff like "what's the point of even being together if our days are auto piloting and you have nothing you want for the future". I took it bad but here comes the big problem. I never realized how important this was for her and how our relationship was hanging loose. She said it was bad between us and there has to be some change. We never really talked about this again... We just agreed on there has to be a change to our lives and she wanted me to have a more focused approach to my life.

She managed to pass all final exams. I thought this would bring her some relief and to settle down the stress about the future and the death of grandma. Since not having to worry about the school that normally stresses her out a lot. Always feeling that she is not good enough to pass. In the end she only failed two exams in four years which is amazing considering the fail rate on her exams. I wish she would believe in herself more.

I had to stay at the university to finish a few left over projects in unfinished courses. So she went to our hometown alone without me. Having loads of time to think about everything alone. Two months later and one week after I get home there was always some excuse not to be around each other. I didn't really think about it because they all made sense until just a few days ago she said she wanted to break up with me. She said our relationship successively has gone worse and worse. This came as a complete shock for me as I thought things were going better and not worse.

But then it dawned on me, I know she hasn't been feeling 100% for a while, especially after her grandma passed away. Also she have said the stress about the school is very tiring and she also have felt that she does not a lot of friends (even though she has a few that she's very close with), there's only me. And we haven't connected and talked about some of these big issues. All this together points to her having depression, she even said it once that it feels like she is depressed but in not super serious tone so it never stuck on me.

I love her so much but I am so afraid she really is depressed and it is getting worse, which made her push me and our relationship away. Dear Reddit, how can I help her? Should I talk to her parents? Talk to her best friends? The problem is that I am still so chocked and empty since the break up. I just blame myself so much for letting it come to this and she doesn't want to talk to me in person yet. We are not on bad terms at all, I really hope we can sort this out but she is a very stubborn girl that would not take a decision like this if she really didn't want to. So I unfortunately doubt we will get back together even though I really want to (and she know I do).

I just want to sit down and talk to her, but she doesn't want to see me right now. Help me help her.

Sorry for a massive wall of text but I felt that a decent backstory is needed. Even though a lot is left out.