Woke up on the floor of the public bathroom of our apartment complex. I had brought a blanket and a pillow. And a beer. The beer went straight in the trash, and all this shit ends today.

What else is there to say. A simple misunderstanding between my very reasonable fiancé and my drunk stupid ass led to an unnecessary argument. She went in the bedroom, and I slid out the door, unannounced.

I woke up to a banging on the bathroom door. It was my dad. My fiancé was so concerned that a she assembled a small search crew. I was so drunk that I hadn't heard the 20 missed phone calls and 30 some odd text alerts. Turns out, I was the only one I know who slept last night.

Hey, at least I had enough sense to not get behind the wheel...right?

Anyway, I know this "rock bottom" isn't as bad as many, but I know that I can't keep going on like this. It's terrifying to think about life without it. I love beer, I love drinking with friends. But that's never where it ends. I come home and "finish the job" with shots and get routinely shit faced every time I have a single beer. This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's getting done.

Update: Thank all of you for taking the time to write. Such a nice thing to wake up to. Please know that while I may not reply to much, each are read and suggestions have or will be followed. Thank you.

Day 2 is starting off well. My urine is still the color of slightly diluted tea, but I'll hydrate and look forward to how that will feel. I may get invited home today by my fiancé. Whenever that does happen, today or next week, a different man will be walking through that door. I can't wait to not drink with all of you today.