I'm Climbing That Metaphorical Rope To A Relationship

Fellow redditers (I personally like the word “rediteers” just has a nice ring to it) Forgive me for any grammatical errors. I’ve just turned 28 this week. After a little reflection this week, I think I’ve finally painted a good visual for myself on how I’ve tried to get into a relationship with girls special to me throughout my 20’s. I’m always climbing that metaphorical rope to the top of the cliff to relationship land. And at the top of that rope, that special girl I like will be there.

I’m not saying every girl in the world changes their mind (they probably do), and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but I think that’s where I differ from women personally. In my experience, girls will change their minds at the most ridiculous moments and I’m left hanging to dry in melancholy and embarrassment and I’m regretting that I even tried. The result of this horrible mind-changing timing (for example) can leave me waiting at the house by myself after spending hours cooking her favorite meal she wanted while turning down a fun weekend of beautiful sunny lake swimming with my friends.

I climb that long metaphorical rope to get closer with girls I have sincere feelings for. That rope sometimes is simply cut off when I reach the top edge of the cliff, and I fall down that very cliff to “The Friendzone”. Sometimes that rope is being continuously fed off an endless roll at the top off the cliff and I have the illusion of reaching the top to relationship land when in reality I’m not moving anywhere as I’m climbing. After being discouraged of climbing an endless rope, I’m forced to let go of that rope and fall into… “The Friendzone.” Other times I climb that same rope (different girl) all the way to the top of that cliff successfully and the girl is nowhere to be found. She already left while I was climbing halfway up that rope. Here's the twist - turns out that when I reached the top of the cliff, I was climbing into – you guessed it – “The Friendzone”. I just got M. Night shyamalaned!

My point is that women can and will change their minds at any moment, and I’ll never know when that happened, even when my efforts to be their boyfriend are sure enough to get me into a relationship. I’ve made the right moves, done the right things, be their friend when they want a friend, and listen to them when they need a good listener, etc. Of course I ask them out when the time is right, and the stars in the sky are perfectly aligned to pop the big "I like you." When I get the big "I like you" back, that's when the rope climbing comes in and I gotta put my gloves on.

It’s disheartening to realize that these efforts still leave me single while I witness other friends who are gross and mean to women get who they want & when they want them. Don’t get me wrong, my friends are great but I just shake my head when I see them put beautiful women in tears and have them whenever they like while I treat women as a gentleman and get put in “The Friendzone” repeatedly. I sometimes view "The Friendzone" as a shelf where you put books, toys, and trinkets for when you get bored with them.

Never am I clingy, desperate, or vulgar to women. Even when I’m feeling down, I always project confidence, high self-esteem, and positive attitudes towards women I like and find attractive. I act like “I don’t give a fuck” when I’m around women I like so I don’t get that “he’s nice but desperate” response. I feel like I have to be the Big Bad Wolf to woo the women I find attractive (which I suck at). 95% of the time I can get them to like me back, but I’m left wondering why they made me climb the rope to begin with if they’re 100% sure nothing will come of it. I always assume it’s so they can get their daily vitamin dosage of ego or to get a nice rebound/reboot after a shitty boyfriend. When a girl throws “I’ve just gotten out of a horrible relationship” in my face, I respond with “Well how would you like to be in a good relationship?”

I get asked out a lot which is nice – just from women I wouldn't be in a relationship with. This dilemma could be the result of me being too picky towards women, but that’s something I simply don’t believe in. My standards are my standards and they’ll never change. When others say I’m going for the wrong women, I disagree with that too. I believe every person is different and can’t be classified as “the wrong” group. At least I hope that I'm in the right group when it comes to men.

A wise friend told me one day that he knows right away when he looks at a girl that he likes her or not. I nodded in agreement saying that I do to, because that’s just how I am. I’m not gonna climb that rope if I don’t think that girl is special enough. Baggage is never really an issue when I feel passionate attraction to someone - like I said before, I don't change my mind easily.

As Rust Cohle from true detective stated “We know what we want… and we don’t mind being alone.” Be that as it may, I'm completely happy with me and I like me and I entertain myself well… I just want to entertain, and obsess over Van Halen and Game of Thrones with whom my heart desires.

Anyway. rope climbing. relationships. metaphor. m. night shayamalan : )