For some reason i find myself drawn to coke

Coke has this hold on me that no other drug has.

Ever since the first time i tried it i've found myself like fantasizing about it. Not just about using it, but about possessing it also.

Looking back on it the best nights of my life always involved coke and friends. And when i see people i've done coke with i get all giddy and happy, even if i'm not going to do coke at that moment. Its like just the memory gets me excited.

The funny thing is i don't even like the coke high that much. Being amped up is fun for the first few lines. But after that its like i'm just using to avoid coming down. And its so expensive.

i know i don't even like it. But still i find myself drawn to it. I want more of it. Like wtf?

anyone else deal with this?