Diagnosed at 39, in treatment for 10 months. My—good!—experience so far. (Long post)

Hello everyone! I've been reading posts here for a while and figured I'd say hi.

I'm a 40 year old man who was diagnosed with ADHDc last September, and started taking Vyvanse later that month. I had ZERO idea that I had a disorder before. A doctor friend of mine who was watching me try to give a lecture on a day when I hadn't had coffee yet was the one who suggested I get evaluated by a specialist.

At first I laughed it off (seems like everyone claims to "be ADD" these days) but once my caffeine kicked in she pointed out the fact that I was calmer and no longer rambling, something I was surprised to realize.

I then told my sister on the phone "There's this doctor friend of mine who thinks I have ADHD" and she said "Oh god, of COURSE you have ADHD! Everybody knows that!" Gee, thanks for telling me... So I took the suggestion and underwent evaluation, which was a two-step process: first I saw a mental health nurse practitioner, who evaluated my symptoms and put me through some tests (some paper, some computer stuff). Then I was referred to the specialist. My psych (bless her heart, she's amazing) as I was telling her about my chaotic life basically said "Well, it's pretty black and white." I had no idea it was that obvious.

The first day I took that pill was an absolute revelation. I remember it vividly: I was standing in my living room when I realized "Oh... It's quiet in my head." I had no idea there was so much noise in there. SO MUCH. I could think clearly. I could CHOOSE what to think about, and think about it, and then follow the thoughts with action.

The first thing I did was organize my home office. My partner and I have lived in this house for 16 years. It had never, ever been organized. I threw away so much junk! I cleared my desk. I installed shelving and picked things up off the floor. I realized as I did this that every single scattered object, scrap of paper, unfiled document, half-read book, post-it note, abandoned cup with dry coffee caked at the bottom, etc. was an unfinished line of thought. I WAS going to do something, and had then proceeded to do something else, on and on and on and on...

In retrospect, my entire mess of a life makes perfect sense: the difficulties, both behavioral and performative, in school since I was a little kid, my poor college performance, the challenges and mistakes at my various jobs, my inability to create and stick to long term plans, my home office perennially looking like a bomb exploded in it... I'm a fairly intelligent and studious person, but I was always behind on everything. The medication helps enormously. It has basically turned my life around.

I should, however, mention that I feel like I only started using it correctly maybe since February. What that means is that I keep a schedule for everything. Structure is paramount. I work from home so it's easy to get distracted, what I do now is to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, eat on a schedule, and divide the day into working periods and leisure/housework periods, I generally work 3 hours and take one off, and repeat 3 times during the day (now is one of my off hours). Last thing I do with my day is exercise, and then maybe watch an episode of a series or half a movie with my partner before bed.

Anyhow, I came across this picture, I'm not sure who the artist is. I saw it posted on another thread where an argument ensued about neurotransmitters and depression... What they didn't realize, and I didn't point out, is that these aren't antidepressant pills. I know these kitties. These are exactly the size and color of 40 mg Vyvanse. :)

If you can get treated, DON'T. WAIT. especially those of you who are younger. Time will go by and you will NOT conquer this on your own. Coping skills help, sure, but in the end it's really not a matter of discipline. In my case, the doctor specifically indicated not to dwell on "what ifs" from the past, it's a slippery slope and there's no bottom. Instead of mourning lost opportunities I am enjoying the moment and looking to the future, building the framework for a much more structured and accomplished second half of my life.

Sorry for the wall of text, I just wanted to share my story and say that I'm really happy to have found my tribe, even if we ramble at each other a little.

TL,DR: Get treated, it'll change your life! :)