Finally cracked. I cheated. Mixed feelings about it all

We all come here for support, and I am a long time member so to speak.

This isn't so much of a confession as it is me just writing out some of my feelings at this point.

One of my female friends that once had a threesome with my wife and I has been in touch over the last few years. She has been a moral support when I didn't think I could stay with my wife. She's made me feel like a desirable person, sent me sexy pics, and is just a good ear.

She's married and with her husband's blessing is in an open marriage. They discussed my long standing sexless marriage and he suggested she offer to help me.

We met for a walk to talk, catch up, etc. Then she kissed me. We were out on a popular walking trail, and I was nervous about it, so we just made out.

I'm sad that it happened, but loved that it happened. Torn, I guess. I wish if I had really gone through with intercourse, I may feel more fulfilled from the encounter.

She's offered to come over to my house or have me come over to their house on a time when it would work for me.

Anyhow, I did it. I kissed and made out with a sexy woman. It felt electrifying to be desired, and equally sad that I'm at this point now in my marriage where this is a real thing. Never thought I'd get there.