i love/hate having family around

okay i'm sure this has been said a hundred million times already so i'm soooo sorry for being repetitive lol but omg

i love spending time with my family but holy shit does it make restricting a pain in the assssss

at weekends my ma likes to have lunch AND dinner together cus she knows i "used to" (lol) have an ED so she likes to... make sure i'm eating healthy i guess

usually it's not so bad cus i just restrict a bit extra on days when she's not around but these last couple of days i've been sooooo bad

e.g. usually the crackers we have in the house aren't vegan which is great for me cus it means i won't binge on them but this time for some reason we got a different brand which are vegan & i ate so. fucking. many

and bread too... so much bread 🤢

and i feel so gross all i want is a few days to do some heavier restricting til i feel less like a fucking fat squishy mess but i'm gonna essentially be watched all weekend & god it's killing me

anyway.. lmao sorry for this rambling trip to nowhere of a post i just needed to vent i guess :/ wish me luck that i don't gain a tonne over the weekend.. 😭🙏